Latest posts

  • Trump vs. Seth Meyers: Late Night, Last Nerve

    Trump vs. Seth Meyers: Late Night, Last Nerve

    The 2 a.m. Truth Social Serenade On August 27, 2025, Donald Trump—our forever midnight bard—logged onto Truth Social at the ungodly hour of 2 a.m. to fight the real battle of our times: Seth Meyers’ job security. Forget Ukraine, forget inflation, forget that the Colorado River is turning into a trickle—the real crisis is NBC

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  • The Devil Wears Bulletproof: America’s Sacred Tradition of Gunfire at School

    The Devil Wears Bulletproof: America’s Sacred Tradition of Gunfire at School

    Ah, Minneapolis. The city of lakes, the birthplace of Prince, and now—because we clearly didn’t have enough entries in the “Things Europeans Think Are Fake But Actually Happen in America” catalog—the latest setting for that quintessentially American ritual: a school shooting. This time, we leveled up. It wasn’t a hallway. It wasn’t a cafeteria. No,

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  • Snoop Dogg vs. Pixar: When Buzz Lightyear Becomes the Boogeyman of Bedtime Questions

    Snoop Dogg vs. Pixar: When Buzz Lightyear Becomes the Boogeyman of Bedtime Questions

    Apparently, the real Infinity and Beyond is the number of awkward conversations grandparents didn’t plan for. The Scene: Snoop, A Podcast, and a Pixar Panic Attack On August 25–26, 2025, humanity was shaken to its core—not by a natural disaster, not by another billionaire announcing plans to colonize Mars, but by Snoop Dogg’s confession that

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  • Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math

    Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math

    The problem with promising to “crack down on crime” is that crime refuses to follow your campaign calendar. It does not politely spike in the zip codes you need for next week’s rally. It rarely consults your polling numbers before deciding whether to trend upward or downward. Yet here comes Donald Trump, fresh off his

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  • When Billionaires Sue: Elon Musk’s Antitrust Opera Against Apple and OpenAI

    When Billionaires Sue: Elon Musk’s Antitrust Opera Against Apple and OpenAI

    On August 25, 2025, Elon Musk decided to stop subtweeting Apple and OpenAI long enough to do what billionaires do when they’re bored: sue somebody. This time, his companies xAI and X Corp. filed a federal antitrust case in Texas, alleging that Apple and OpenAI formed a duopoly designed to suffocate competitors—namely Grok, Musk’s chatty,

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  • Prosecuting the Flame: Trump’s Executive Order on Flag Burning

    Prosecuting the Flame: Trump’s Executive Order on Flag Burning

    On August 25, 2025, President Donald Trump signed a document so melodramatically titled it could double as a Netflix limited series: “Prosecuting Burning of the American Flag.” The executive order doesn’t criminalize flag burning outright—because the Supreme Court told America to chill about that back in 1989. But it does something more Trumpian: it takes

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  • Puff, Puff, Postal: USPS Declares War on Your Vape Pen

    Puff, Puff, Postal: USPS Declares War on Your Vape Pen

    In mid-August 2025, while the rest of America was debating whether Barbie deserved an Oscar nomination, the United States Postal Service quietly declared war on flavored fog. That’s right: the USPS—an institution barely able to deliver your Amazon package without routing it through Albuquerque—has suddenly positioned itself as the frontline defender against the scourge of

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  • Rodeo, Run-ins & Rehab: Lil Nas X’s 6 a.m. “Midnight Remix” in Studio City

    Rodeo, Run-ins & Rehab: Lil Nas X’s 6 a.m. “Midnight Remix” in Studio City

    Picture it: early morning on Ventura Boulevard, Studio City. The sky is still a bruise. Streetlights flicker like judging eyebrows. A nude man strides down the sidewalk, shoulders thrown back like he just emerged from a Private Jet and Seminoles matchup—and charges at police when they arrive. He’s escorted off in cuffs, hospitalized for suspected

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  • Siri, Rebooted (Again): Apple’s Never-Ending Quest for AI Credibility

    Siri, Rebooted (Again): Apple’s Never-Ending Quest for AI Credibility

    On August 22, 2025, MacRumors published a guide that basically confirmed what anyone who has ever yelled “HEY SIRI” into a pillow already suspected: Apple’s voice assistant is being completely gutted. Again. The so-called “LLM Siri” overhaul won’t arrive until spring 2026—because nothing says innovation like promising to fix the thing you broke five years

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  • Jurassic Runway: Britain’s New Dinosaur Brings Sail-Back Chic to the Early Cretaceous

    Jurassic Runway: Britain’s New Dinosaur Brings Sail-Back Chic to the Early Cretaceous

    On August 22, 2025, scientists revealed the debut of the year’s most unexpected fashion icon: a sail-backed iguanodontian dinosaur from the Isle of Wight, Istiorachis macarthurae. Discovered in rocks from the Early Cretaceous and strutting out of the Wessex Formation at a mere 125 million years old, this plant-eating beast arrived on the scene with

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