Latest posts
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The Stadium as Cathedral: Charlie Kirk’s Resurrection Tour
America has never been subtle about grief. We brand it, stream it, and sell t-shirts out of the trunk. But even for a country that once turned the O.J. trial into a daytime soap, what happened inside State Farm Stadium in Glendale was… operatic. Or maybe that’s too generous—let’s call it what it was: a
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Cash in Hand, Case Closed: Trump’s Border Czar’s Fifty-Grand Mulligan
There are a lot of ways to bribe a man. Some are delicate—offshore accounts, art loans, consulting contracts that pay for “advisory” work never rendered. Others are cinematic—duffel bags of crisp bills, shady meetings in garages. Then there’s Tom Homan, the White House’s border czar, who apparently prefers the Costco version: fifty thousand dollars in
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Charlie Kirk: The First Time the GOP Has Cared About a School Shooting
They say tragedy unites. They also say power corrupts. In America right now, we’re seeing how the former becomes the latter—fast. Because in the days following Charlie Kirk’s assassination, Republicans escalated their post-martyr politics from solemn resolutions in Congress all the way into statehouses, into speech bills, statues, free speech holidays, and threats of passport
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The Bots Are Coming From Inside the House
We were warned about the robots. We were told they’d take our jobs, our cars, maybe our dating lives if someone perfected the silicone. What we weren’t prepared for was that they’d take our democracy. And not even in a cool, cinematic Skynet way—no, in the most humiliating way possible: by faking retweets and filling
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The President as Prosecutor-in-Chief: A Republic If You Can Keep It
If you thought American democracy was fragile before, buckle up. On September 20, 2025, President Donald Trump took to his beloved sandbox, Truth Social, and delivered what can only be described as a digital tantrum dressed up as a presidential directive. “JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED, NOW!!!” he thundered, typing like a Red Bull–fueled intern at
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When Science Meets Conspiracy: The CDC’s New Vaccine Variety Hour
If you ever wanted to watch the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reinvent itself as a cross between a daytime talk show and a flat-earth convention, congratulations: September 18, 2025 delivered. Picture it—a fluorescent-lit conference room in Atlanta, where a panel once devoted to quiet, data-heavy immunization schedules has been rebranded as the CDC’s
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The American Love Affair With ARs: From Domestic Disputes to Funeral Processions
A Familiar Script Another day, another “isolated incident” that looks exactly like every other one. A young man, a domestic violence record, a weapon designed for war, and a police force walking into a house in North Codorus Township. The ending, like all the others, is a chalk outline in triplicate. Three detectives dead, two
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The One-Vote Miracle: How Ilhan Omar Survived the House Thought Police
The censure of Ilhan Omar was supposed to be a slam dunk. It had all the ingredients the Republican caucus adores: an immigrant woman of color, a Muslim, an outspoken progressive, and a social media post they could contort into the crime of the century. The House floor was primed for the ritual humiliation—strip her
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Meta Wants to Live in Your Eyeballs Now
Welcome to the Eye Economy Mark Zuckerberg took the stage at Meta Connect in Menlo Park and unveiled his latest plan to colonize the human face. Forget the metaverse graveyard; this year the pitch is three new AI glasses, because apparently the only thing keeping us from blissful techno-nirvana was strapping a HUD to our
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First They Came for Free Speech: Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, and America’s Fascist Curtain Call
Picture this: you’re sitting on your couch, remote in hand, waiting for Jimmy Kimmel to make a joke about Marjorie Taylor Greene’s latest word salad. Instead, you’re greeted by a rerun of one of their other really shitty shows—not because ABC thinks pratfalls are funnier than politics, but because the Federal Communications Commission, under Brendan