Latest posts
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This Isn’t the Breakdown We Paid For: The American Concert Experience, Now With Bonus Trauma
There was a time—not long ago—when you could attend a live show and expect nothing more than $18 beers, overpriced parking, and the existential dread of being the oldest person in the crowd wearing glitter. That was the pact. You show up, the band plays, you lose your voice, maybe your dignity, and you limp
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Colbert’s Curtain Call: When the Laugh Track Gets Subpoenaed
Let’s get one thing straight: in 2025 America, free speech isn’t dead—it’s just nervously checking its follower count while Homeland Security reviews its late-night monologue. This week, CBS announced the “scheduling discontinuation” of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a decision about as subtle as a Fox News chyron at a drag brunch. While the
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Trump’s Legs Are Tired. America is Too.
In news that will shock absolutely no one who’s seen a senior citizen in a golf cart wearing three layers of bronzer and rage, Donald Trump has been diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (CVI)—which, to the medically uninitiated, translates roughly to: his veins are tired of the bullshit too.
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Second Term, Second Verse: Dumber, Meaner, Somehow More Orange
Let’s begin this enchanted retread with a little déjà vu: Donald J. Trump, once again sitting in the Oval Office—this time without even pretending to read the Constitution. It’s not a reboot, friends. It’s a bloated sequel nobody asked for, written by Facebook uncles and powered by supply chain rage, Bud Light boycotts, and the
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You Don’t Fire the Epstein Prosecutor Unless You’ve Got Something to Hide, Right?
File this under: If I Did It: Executive Branch Edition. This week, the Trump camp finally took off the gloves and put on the red hat to fire Maurene Comey—you know, the federal prosecutor who helped put Ghislaine Maxwell behind bars and was knee-deep in the Epstein case before it mysteriously got quieter than a
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Colbert’s Exit Strategy: CBS Cancels ‘The Late Show’ (But Totally for Financial Reasons, Of Course)
CBS has announced that The Late Show with Stephen Colbert will end after its next season in May 2026, citing—what else?—“financial considerations.” The network didn’t elaborate much, but rest assured, it has absolutely nothing to do with Colbert’s recent on-air jabs at CBS’s parent company, Paramount Global, for quietly settling a $16 million lawsuit with
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American Idol Judge Gives Final “No” — to Life
In a chilling twist worthy of a Lifetime movie scored by Ryan Seacrest’s ghostwriter, a music supervisor for American Idol and her husband were found dead in their upscale California home this week. A 22-year-old suspect—who sources say has never made it past Hollywood Week—has been arrested. Authorities are calling it a “targeted killing,” though
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Court Blocks Trump’s Deport-a-Palooza: LA Says ‘Nice Try, ICE Guy’
In what some are calling a seismic shift and others are calling “Tuesday,” a federal judge in Los Angeles has slammed the brakes on the Trump administration’s attempt to throw an immigration-themed block party — complete with surprise arrests and zero constitutional oversight. The temporary restraining order halts immigration enforcement operations across Southern California, which
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BUBONIC PLAGUE IN ARIZONA: 14TH CENTURY ICON MAKES UNWELCOME COMEBACK
FLAGSTAFF, AZ — Just when you thought the only plague still circulating was the group chat from your old job, northern Arizona has been struck by a blast from the past — and not the cool, vintage kind. Health officials have confirmed that a local resident has died from pneumonic plague, a grim throwback infection
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Defamation Nation: AOC Says the Rapist word, MAGA Faints into a Lawsuit Pile
The audacity of a Latina congresswoman speaking the truth out loud while rich men hide behind NDAs and redactions BREAKING: Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a sitting member of Congress, former bartender, and full-time lightning rod for right-wing rage, did the unthinkable this week: she called a man what the courts already said he was. In response