Latest posts
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She Wrote, She Sleuthed, She Slayed: Jamie Lee Curtis to Reboot Murder, She Wrote—and the Internet Has Opinions
In a bold move sure to divide brunch tables and incite polite outrage in Maine tourism boards, Jamie Lee Curtis has confirmed she will step into the orthopedic shoes of Jessica Fletcher in a remake of Murder, She Wrote. Yes, the reboot no one asked for but everyone will ironically stream is officially happening. Curtis—America’s
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Rest Easy, Prince of Darkness: A Farewell to Ozzy Osbourne
I wasn’t a diehard fan. I didn’t memorize lyrics or follow every twist in his tour dates or tattoos. I didn’t grow up with Black Sabbath posters on my walls or devil horns in the air. But when I heard the news—Ozzy Osbourne has passed away—I felt something cave in anyway. That’s what happens when
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Venus Rises: At 45, Williams Wins and the Tennis World Files for AARP
In a move that sent shockwaves through sports media and orthopedic surgeons alike, Venus Williams has won a WTA match at the age of 45—because apparently time is a construct, and knees are optional. Yes, while most of us are googling “how to get up without making a noise,” Venus is out here reminding the
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Trump Shares AI Mugshots of Obama After Declassified Docs Drop, Nation Wonders If Reality Has Been PARDONED
This week, reality got redacted, deepfaked, and re-released as a partisan reboot. Newly declassified documents—courtesy of Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, who has apparently pivoted from anti-war progressive to cosplay intelligence officer—suggest that elements of the Obama administration allegedly ‘manufactured’ intelligence to justify the Trump-Russia probe in 2016. The documents are already being hailed
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Coincidence Is Classified: MLK Files Released Just as Epstein Heat Rises
After 56 years, countless Freedom of Information requests, and one too many performances of Lift Every Voice and Sing by institutions that once tried to wiretap his grief, the federal government has finally—finally—released the MLK assassination files. Well. Sort of. They’ve been “released” in the way your emotionally unavailable ex “opens up” during arguments: technically,
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Beyond the Headline: Unpacking the Gaza Conflict’s Long-Term Impacts
A deeper look into the long tail of trauma, bureaucracy, and selective compassion Somewhere between your third scroll past an Instagram infographic and the seventh “breaking news” chyron that wasn’t, Gaza kept happening. And while the rest of the world moved on to Taylor Swift ticket drama and the return of pumpkin spice fascism, a
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We Survived COVID, AI, and Three Taylor Swift Eras—Now What?
At some point between Clorox shortages and ChatGPT writing your cousin’s wedding vows, we blinked—and it was 2025. We survived a global pandemic, gave our data to robots with better grammar than our exes, and got emotionally waterboarded by Taylor Swift’s discography not once, not twice, but three times. We’ve lived through Folklore, Midnights, and
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Menudo, Murder, and Mistrials: The 90s Are Back, and So Is the Trauma
Somewhere between your thrifted JNCOs and a fresh VHS-to-TikTok conspiracy doc, the ’90s have staged a full-blown comeback. But this time, it’s not Tamagotchis or frosted tips. It’s trauma. Enter: Roy Rosselló of Menudo—boy band alum, survivor, and now, spiritual hype man for Erik and Lyle Menendez. In a recent statement, Rosselló expressed his belief
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This Isn’t the Breakdown We Paid For: The American Concert Experience, Now With Bonus Trauma
There was a time—not long ago—when you could attend a live show and expect nothing more than $18 beers, overpriced parking, and the existential dread of being the oldest person in the crowd wearing glitter. That was the pact. You show up, the band plays, you lose your voice, maybe your dignity, and you limp
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Colbert’s Curtain Call: When the Laugh Track Gets Subpoenaed
Let’s get one thing straight: in 2025 America, free speech isn’t dead—it’s just nervously checking its follower count while Homeland Security reviews its late-night monologue. This week, CBS announced the “scheduling discontinuation” of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a decision about as subtle as a Fox News chyron at a drag brunch. While the