Latest posts

  • The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    On August 22, 2025, FBI agents descended on John Bolton’s Bethesda home and his Washington, D.C., office. They carted off boxes while Montgomery County police stood by, politely blocking the cul-de-sac like it was the Macy’s Day Parade for subpoenas. The stated reason: investigating whether Bolton illegally possessed or shared classified information. The unstated reason:

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  • Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    The Trump administration has rediscovered its favorite pastime: deportation as sport. On August 20, 2025, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals granted the White House an emergency stay that lets officials move forward with ending Temporary Protected Status (TPS) for roughly 60,000 migrants from Honduras, Nicaragua, and Nepal. Nothing says “America First” like telling the

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  • The Disappearing Act of Green Arrow: James Gunn’s DCU and the Case of the Missing Archer

    The Disappearing Act of Green Arrow: James Gunn’s DCU and the Case of the Missing Archer

    If you squint hard enough, you can almost see him: the man in green tights, a quiver full of metaphorical arrows, lurking somewhere in the dusty backlog of Warner Bros. IP rights. But according to James Gunn—the self-appointed town crier of the DC Universe—Green Arrow isn’t so much missing in action as he is missing

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  • Hurricane Erin: America’s Latest Reality Show, Now Streaming Live from the Atlantic

    Hurricane Erin: America’s Latest Reality Show, Now Streaming Live from the Atlantic

    It’s August 2025, and Hurricane Erin—currently whirling itself into a Category 2 diva act about 200 miles off the North Carolina coast—is serving as yet another reminder that America’s infrastructure is mostly just plywood, wishful thinking, and a governor’s press conference stapled to a sandbag. Erin, once a strapping Category 5 beast, has now “weakened”

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  • Sneak Peek: The First Chapter of Sleeping Fairy

    Sneak Peek: The First Chapter of Sleeping Fairy

    Back in 2018, I drafted a retelling of Sleeping Beauty that was never really about castles or curses. It was about MySpace. It was about being twenty-one in the early 2000s—when dial-up whined through your bedroom wall, when your whole life could be demolished in a single public post, when “delete” wasn’t an option because

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  • Peacock, Plucked but Proud: Why I’ll Follow MSNBC Anywhere (Even Into MS NOW)

    Peacock, Plucked but Proud: Why I’ll Follow MSNBC Anywhere (Even Into MS NOW)

    The news broke: MSNBC is cutting ties with NBC’s Peacock, shedding the feathers, and rebirthing itself as MS NOW. And while some people are clutching pearls over the rebrand, I have one thing to say: take my Peacock, take my vowels, take whatever you want—just don’t take Rachel Maddow’s monologues away from me. This is

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  • Pratt, Policies, and Polite Pretense: A Star in Defense Mode

    Pratt, Policies, and Polite Pretense: A Star in Defense Mode

    Hollywood’s favorite dude-next-door, Chris Pratt, recently found himself in a moral minefield. He came out publicly to defend RFK Jr.’s policies, calling the wave of backlash “unreasonable hatred” and adding, “I want them all to be successful.” By “them all,” we suspect he meant both Kennedy and… everyone else who learned the difference between anti-vax

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  • When Democracy Gets a Make-over: Trump’s Executive Order to Cancel Voting

    When Democracy Gets a Make-over: Trump’s Executive Order to Cancel Voting

    At long last, the White House has announced a new wellness initiative: an executive order banning mail‑in and electronic voting ahead of the 2026 midterms. Why? Because our hero (in designer suits) says elections are haunted by “massive fraud”—without evidence, but with extra flourish. He’s calling it the “MAIL‑IN BALLOT HOAX” and wants us back

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  • Weapons, Freakier Fridays, and the Death Rattle of Sydney Sweeney’s Americana

    Weapons, Freakier Fridays, and the Death Rattle of Sydney Sweeney’s Americana

    The box office has once again delivered its weekend sermon, and America, faithful parishioner that it is, dutifully attended services with popcorn in hand. We were given horror, we were given nostalgia, we were given Bob Odenkirk with bruised knuckles, and—because capitalism cannot function without a sacrificial lamb—we were given Sydney Sweeney’s Americana quietly smothered

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  • The Comedy Coup: South Park, Trump, and the Paramount Problem

    The Comedy Coup: South Park, Trump, and the Paramount Problem

    America has always needed its court jesters. Kings and presidents come and go, ruling with pomp, paranoia, and paranoia dressed up as policy. But the jester—the clown with a knife behind the punchline—never leaves. In 2025, that jester wears a Colorado beanie, carries a construction paper sign, and is contractually obligated to Paramount+ for $1.5

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