Latest posts
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JD Vance Turns Charlie Kirk’s Memorial Into a Campaign Rally With Tax Audits
When Mourning Means Monetizing Charlie Kirk was assassinated at Utah Valley University. That’s the fact. It happened. A 33-hour manhunt followed. Police arrested 22-year-old Tyler Robinson. The motive remains under investigation. This should have been the moment for solemnity. Reflection. A funeral, not a fundraiser. Instead, the White House turned it into programming content. Vice…
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Hispanic Heritage Month Cancelled Due to Immigration Enforcement: Culture Meets Checkpoint
The Month That Wasn’t September 15 used to mark the start of Hispanic Heritage Month—a time for parades, mariachi, food festivals, and school assemblies pretending arroz con pollo is “cultural immersion.” This year, it marked something else entirely: postponements and cancellations. Chicago’s El Grito festival? Cancelled. Sacramento’s celebrations? Postponed. Charlotte’s events? Scrapped. CBS, AP, and…
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The Blessing and Curse of Yelp Health Scores
There are few things more American than combining capitalism, technology, and shame. Enter Yelp health scores: the best invention in modern dining, and also the absolute worst. It’s the digital equivalent of peeking behind the kitchen door and realizing that your artisanal avocado toast was prepared six inches away from a cockroach the size of…
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SNL Says Goodbye to Ego Nwodim and Hello to the Eternal Lorne Michaels Hunger Games
Seven Years, One Exit Post, and a Cast in Perpetual Revolt Ego Nwodim did what every modern celebrity does when it’s time to move on: she opened Instagram, wrote “unforgettable” in italics, and announced she was leaving Saturday Night Live after seven seasons. Seven years of wigs, cue cards, and sketches that hit about as…
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Texas Builds a Deportation Machine Because Governing Was Too Boring
Everything Is Bigger in Texas—Even the Loopholes Texas has decided that if the federal government won’t let it declare its own foreign policy, it will improvise. Governor Greg Abbott’s Operation Lone Star has now quietly metastasized from “border security theater” into “statewide deportation cosplay.” DPS strike teams, created at Abbott’s direction, have made more than…
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Stagflation Lite™: Now With Extra Tariffs and Tomato Surcharges
America, you can relax. Inflation is only at its highest pace since January, jobless claims are at their highest since October 2021, and the Labor Department has discovered that somewhere between April 2024 and March 2025, we misplaced nearly a million jobs. (Don’t worry, they’re probably under the couch with your missing socks and Biden’s…
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Charlie Kirk Assassination was a Travesty but Spare Us the Martyrdom
First, the only thing that should be easy to say I don’t condone political violence from anyone, toward anyone. A man was killed while speaking, a family lost their person, and that is a human tragedy before it is a headline. Full stop. It deserves grief, not grift. It deserves time to breathe, not instant…
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The Gospel of Countdown and Shrug: Mel Robbins’s DIY Serenity Prayer
Self-help is America’s unofficial national pastime. Baseball, apple pie, and the endless hunt for a three-word mantra to finally make us tolerable to ourselves. Into this crowded bazaar of affirmations and hacks waltzed Mel Robbins, who has done the impossible: sold millions of copies of not one but two rules for living that could fit…
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Trump vs. Newsom and the Battle for America’s Caps Lock Key
The Washington Post unveiled what can only be described as America’s summer-long pay-per-view event: the cage match between President Donald Trump and California Governor Gavin Newsom. Forget inflation. Forget foreign policy. Forget climate collapse. The real fight for America’s soul is happening on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, now better known as a…
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The Million-Dollar Letter: Austin’s “A” and the Art of Public Branding
On September 4–5, 2025, Austin unveiled its first-ever unified city logo: a wavy blue-green “A” allegedly inspired by the hills, rivers, bridges, and violet-crown skies that define the Texas capital. It is, in the words of the city, a “strategic modernization.” In the words of the internet, it’s “Dallas-adjacent,” “corporate clipart,” and “the most expensive…