Latest posts

  • Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math

    Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math

    The problem with promising to “crack down on crime” is that crime refuses to follow your campaign calendar. It does not politely spike in the zip codes you need for next week’s rally. It rarely consults your polling numbers before deciding whether to trend upward or downward. Yet here comes Donald Trump, fresh off his

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  • Silicon Nationalism: Trump Buys a Piece of Intel

    Silicon Nationalism: Trump Buys a Piece of Intel

    On August 22, 2025, President Donald Trump announced that the U.S. government is now the proud owner of 10% of Intel. That’s right—your tax dollars have been converted into ~433.3 million non-voting shares priced at $20.47 each. Wall Street analysts say the investment is worth between $8.9 billion and $11.1 billion, depending on whether you

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  • Queen for a Day, Collateral for a Lifetime: Ghislaine Maxwell’s Tailored Exoneration Tour

    Queen for a Day, Collateral for a Lifetime: Ghislaine Maxwell’s Tailored Exoneration Tour

    On August 22, 2025, the Department of Justice released the transcripts and audio from a two-day, July interview with Ghislaine Maxwell—convicted sex trafficker and legendary social climber. She was given a brief, rarefied slice of immunity—a “queen-for-a-day” proffer—interviewed not by the usual prosecutors who build cases, but by Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche (yes, that

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  • The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    On August 22, 2025, FBI agents descended on John Bolton’s Bethesda home and his Washington, D.C., office. They carted off boxes while Montgomery County police stood by, politely blocking the cul-de-sac like it was the Macy’s Day Parade for subpoenas. The stated reason: investigating whether Bolton illegally possessed or shared classified information. The unstated reason:

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  • Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    The Trump administration has rediscovered its favorite pastime: deportation as sport. On August 20, 2025, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals granted the White House an emergency stay that lets officials move forward with ending Temporary Protected Status (TPS) for roughly 60,000 migrants from Honduras, Nicaragua, and Nepal. Nothing says “America First” like telling the

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  • English-Only Nation: The Trump-Era War on Multilingualism, Now With Federal Endorsement

    English-Only Nation: The Trump-Era War on Multilingualism, Now With Federal Endorsement

    The Department of Education, in what can only be described as a masterclass in quiet cruelty, has decided that five million English learners across the country are now just a line item too expensive to justify. On August 20, 2025, the department formally rescinded the 2015 “Dear Colleague” guidance—the one that spelled out, in plain

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  • How to Politely Erase History Without Mussing Your Hair: The Smithsonian vs. The Woke Exterminators

    How to Politely Erase History Without Mussing Your Hair: The Smithsonian vs. The Woke Exterminators

    There’s a special kind of American irony in watching a White House that can’t stop talking about “cancel culture” spend its waning days trying to cancel the Smithsonian. Canceling a comedian’s Netflix special is authoritarianism, we’re told. But rewriting a museum plaque about Benjamin Franklin’s enslaved servants? That’s patriotism, baby. On August 20, 2025, Donald

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  • Peacock, Plucked but Proud: Why I’ll Follow MSNBC Anywhere (Even Into MS NOW)

    Peacock, Plucked but Proud: Why I’ll Follow MSNBC Anywhere (Even Into MS NOW)

    The news broke: MSNBC is cutting ties with NBC’s Peacock, shedding the feathers, and rebirthing itself as MS NOW. And while some people are clutching pearls over the rebrand, I have one thing to say: take my Peacock, take my vowels, take whatever you want—just don’t take Rachel Maddow’s monologues away from me. This is

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  • When the Crime Rate Falls, Call in the Troops

    When the Crime Rate Falls, Call in the Troops

    Washington, D.C. is enjoying its lowest violent crime levels in over thirty years. The data says so: a 35% drop in 2024, another 26% decline so far in 2025. Homicide is down. Robbery is down. Carjackings are down. The FBI and DOJ dashboards are practically waving at us with little “congratulations, you survived the nineties”

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  • The American Dream Was Always an HOA Scam

    The American Dream Was Always an HOA Scam

    The American Dream was never a promise; it was a performance. A stage set that looked believable until the lights flickered and the backstage was exposed—cheap plywood, unpaid labor, and a cast list missing half the country. MAGA wants to dim the lights again, to sell the illusion one more time. But illusions don’t pay…

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