Latest posts
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The New York Time’s Top 100 Movies of the 21st Century — A Love Letter to Films You Pretended to Understand
Top 30 films you’re supposed to pretend you’ve watched twice Gather around, cine-snobs and weekend warriors alike. The New York Times has once again handed us their curated list of the “100 Best Movies of the 21st Century,” as ranked by 500 industry insiders. In a world where joy equates to a cat video getting
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From Lincoln to ‘Lizard King’: A Brief History of How the GOP Went from Emancipation to Trump Fan Fiction
Let’s be clear right off the bat: this isn’t some tweed-jacketed seminar on 19th-century civics, nor is it a loving tribute to parchment, powdered wigs, or that one guy in the background of Hamilton who died before intermission. This is a confused, exhausted, deeply sarcastic look at how the party that once freed enslaved people
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Born at the Wrong Time (Except for All That Oppression)
You ever sit back, stare out a window, and think, “Damn. Maybe I was just born in the wrong era”? I do. Frequently. Especially when I’m writing—something I love, something that used to mean something, back when people consumed the written word instead of TikTok montages of people lip-syncing relationship drama that never happened. I
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A Comprehensive Field Guide to Bible Rules Christians Ignore While Policing Everyone Else’s Salvation
It’s not Christianity. It’s Christianity™: Now with 75% less Jesus, 100% more judgment, and a built-in persecution complex because someone said “Happy Holidays.”
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Letter To The Boy I Used To Be
Hey kid, Yeah, it’s me. The one you’re going to become. And I know, right now, you’re probably curled up somewhere too quiet, listening for the wrong kind of silence. The kind that smells of fear and cheap antiseptic. The kind that makes your ribs hum like piano wires before the next blow. The kind
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Jeff Bezos Found Love Again—So Shut Up, You’re Not Unlovable, Just Poor
If One of Earth’s Top Villains Can Get Remarried, Maybe You Just Need a Yacht In today’s installment of Late Capitalism: The Rom-Com, Amazon founder and trillionaire skin avatar Jeff Bezos has officially remarried, proving once and for all that love is not dead—it’s just income-based. Yes, Jeff “I Make Warehouse Workers Pee in Bottles”
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Gay Enough to Be Oppressed, Not Gay Enough for the Invite to Fire Island
Welcome to the glamorous gray zone of gayness, where you’re just queer enough to be denied rights, but not queer enough to get an invite to the VIP section of your own community. I am what some might call a masculine gay man. Which, in today’s queer social economy, means I’m too straight-passing for the
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Your Loved One Is in Good Hands: The Ones That Just Changed a Bedpan
Welcome, dear family member! We know it’s hard leaving Nana with strangers who call her “sweetheart” instead of by her actual name, but rest assured: she is absolutely in good hands. And by “good hands,” we mean the chapped, underpaid, chronically overworked hands of Carla, who has just finished wiping diarrhea off a shower chair
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So I Found the Love of My Life… Now What?
The Rest of You May As Well Log Off. There comes a time in every former trauma dumpling’s life when the clouds part, the birds chirp, and some suspiciously handsome man with stable communication skills and actual emotional intelligence shows up. For me, it happened eight months ago. And now? Honestly—I’m unwell. In the best
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Welcome to 2025: A Field Guide to the Apocalypse Lite™
Compiled by: A Sentient Bee with Anxiety and a Data Plan Congratulations! You’ve made it to 2025, the year where climate collapse is trending, AI writes breakup texts, and Congress now live-streams on OnlyFans. As your reward, we’ve compiled this essential guide to surviving another year of democracy limping through menopause. Whether you’re queer in