Latest posts
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U.S. Navy Goes Tanker Shopping and Calls It Sanctions Enforcement
One part maritime choke point, one part reality show, and one part global oil market swallowing hard. The Trump administration is preparing more at-sea seizures of oil tankers near Venezuela, and it is doing it with the kind of confident swagger that usually shows up right before someone asks, quietly, what the exit plan is.
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The Ham Sandwich Walks Free: The Department of Justice Keeps Losing Arguments with Reality
The Justice Department keeps pulling the lever, and the indictment machine keeps blinking “try again” like it’s a broken arcade game with federal letterhead. There are a few sacred American traditions you can set your watch by, even if nobody can agree what time it is anymore. One is that a federal grand jury will
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Snowflake Is Melting Down: Trump Labels His Hurt Feelings Treasonous
The Founding Fathers Forgot to Mention That Napping is Now a State Secret Donald Trump has finally invented a new branch of jurisprudence called “feelings treason,” where noticing a seventy-nine-year-old man is tired is punishable by the full force of the internet. It was only a matter of time before Donald Trump, a man who
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Gavin Newsom Wants Democrats to Be Normal, Even If It Means You Have to Disappear
The Governor of California has discovered the secret to winning 2028, and it involves throwing the most vulnerable people in his coalition into a closet labeled “Later.” There is a specific kind of political epiphany that only happens in rooms where the bottled water costs twelve dollars and the audience is composed entirely of people
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The Remake is Always Worse: Why the War on Venezuela is Just the Iraq Script with an Orange Trump Filter
We have seen this movie before, and spoiler alert: the ending involves a lot of sand, a lot of blood, and absolutely zero refunds. The American military machine has always had a flair for the cinematic, but the recent seizure of the oil tanker Skipper off the coast of Venezuela felt less like a naval
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The Hunt for Red October, But Stupid: How a Lying Tanker Became the Star of the Trump’s New Action Franchise
The scene was practically storyboarded for a campaign ad before the first rotor blade chopped the Caribbean air. It had the granular, high-definition aesthetic of a Michael Bay movie that went straight to streaming, complete with the requisite color grading that makes the ocean look dangerously teal and the American military hardware look like the
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The Repo Man Wears a MAGA Hat: Trump Administration Decides That the Only Thing Trickling Down is Interest
The government has decided that the biggest threat to the American economy is a twenty-six-year-old with a degree in graphic design and an extra two hundred dollars a month. There is a specific kind of silence that falls over a generation when they realize the safety net was actually a trap door. For the last
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The Two-Week Autopsy: How Congress Solved a War Crime with a Single Shrug
If a missile strikes a survivor in the Caribbean and Mike Rogers is there to ignore it, did it even happen? In the annals of American military oversight, there are investigations that take years, thousands of pages of testimony, and forensic deep dives that uncover the very soul of the machine. And then there is
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The Supreme Court is About to Turn the Constitution into a Customer Service Complaint Line That Goes Straight to Voicemail
If you have ever looked at the federal government and thought, “You know what this place needs? More impulsivity and less adult supervision,” then boy, does the Supreme Court have a treat for you. The high court is currently preparing to hand Donald Trump the keys to the regulatory state, effectively allowing him to treat
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Trump Tries To Buy a Congressman, But the Congressman Is A Better Con Man
The President thought he was purchasing a party switch with a pardon, but he forgot that in Texas, you take the cattle and leave the cowboy holding the rope. There is a specific, grimy elegance to the way Donald Trump approaches the presidency. He does not view it as a constitutional office or a sacred