Latest posts

  • Kids Being Kids: The Vice President’s Guide to Radicalizing the Next Generation

    Kids Being Kids: The Vice President’s Guide to Radicalizing the Next Generation

    There’s a certain point where a democracy stops pretending it’s fine and just sits down to laugh at its own obituary. We hit that point when Vice President JD Vance stood before cameras this week and called a leak of nearly three thousand pages of racist, antisemitic, and misogynistic messages from young Republican leaders “what

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  • The Pentagon’s New Press Policy: Silence Is Security

    The Pentagon’s New Press Policy: Silence Is Security

    There’s a strange kind of quiet settling over Washington, the kind that hums beneath fluorescent lights and seeps into locked hallways. You can almost hear it in the Pentagon now, where the familiar chaos of reporters—phones buzzing, keyboards clacking, voices volleying across corridors—has been replaced by the steady whirr of an air vent. The silence

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  • Shutdown Theater: When Trump Decided the Government Works Better Without Workers

    Shutdown Theater: When Trump Decided the Government Works Better Without Workers

    It takes a special kind of government to run a shutdown like a start-up.A federal judge just told the Trump administration—again—that firing thousands of workers in the middle of a shutdown isn’t “streamlining.” It’s illegal. But if you squint hard enough and forget about laws, ethics, and human beings, you can almost admire the logic.

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  • The Only One That Matters: How Trump Turned the Gaza Summit Into a Global Open Mic

    The Only One That Matters: How Trump Turned the Gaza Summit Into a Global Open Mic

    It began the way every Trump summit begins—late, loud, and somehow missing a sense of reality. The Guardian’s report from Sharm el-Sheikh reads like dispatches from an international hostage situation where the hostages are diplomacy, grammar, and basic adult decorum. Picture a beachfront hotel filled with exhausted world leaders, their aides clutching binders, waiting for

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  • Disarm or Disaster? The Gaza Ceasefire’s Tightrope Act

    Disarm or Disaster? The Gaza Ceasefire’s Tightrope Act

    Welcome to “Peace as Spectacle, Round Two.” The ceasefire’s first act produced something concrete: all 20 living Israeli hostages were handed over, hundreds of Palestinian detainees released, IDF pullbacks commenced, and aid convoys began crossing. But now the sequel begins, with disclaimers: Netanyahu insists that Hamas must “give up its arms or all hell breaks

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  • No Kings Day: America’s Most Patriotic Middle Finger

    No Kings Day: America’s Most Patriotic Middle Finger

    The founders would have loved this. Not the powdered wig cosplay or the “Don’t Tread on Me” truck decals that confuse tyranny with speed limits—but the idea that millions of Americans could, in 2025, look at a would-be monarch and collectively say: nope. This October 18, No Kings Day returns. And if June was the

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  • The Pentagon Has Entered Its “No Reporters, Please” Era

    The Pentagon Has Entered Its “No Reporters, Please” Era

    The building that invented acronyms, leaks, and irony has decided it’s allergic to all three. According to CNN’s media desk, the Pentagon under Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has rolled out sweeping new restrictions that would make even the Kremlin’s press office blush. The new “access pledge” requires journalists to sign away their ability to do

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  • Statehood for the States That Aren’t: A Hypothetical Love Letter to Democracy’s Participation Trophy

    Statehood for the States That Aren’t: A Hypothetical Love Letter to Democracy’s Participation Trophy

    There’s a certain kind of American optimism that only emerges when we start talking about statehood, the same bright-eyed, civics-class sparkle that insists representation is a moral right and not a political chess move. But let’s be honest—if every U.S. territory and D.C. were granted statehood tomorrow, the fireworks wouldn’t be about democracy fulfilled. They’d

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  • Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies

    Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies

    Congratulations, America. We’ve finally done it. We’ve brought back a disease that modern medicine already defeated when bell-bottoms were still a gleam in disco’s eye. Somewhere, Jonas Salk is shaking his head in the afterlife, muttering, “I leave you people alone for sixty years and you start playing Oregon Trail again.” According to NPR, the

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  • Portland: The Revolution Will Be Choreographed And Feature a Frog

    Portland: The Revolution Will Be Choreographed And Feature a Frog

    It’s 2025, and in Portland, resistance now comes with a soundtrack and a splash zone. The city once branded a “war zone” by right-wing commentators has become something else entirely—a performance art piece starring inflatable amphibians, unicorns, and a surprising number of sharks. The Portland ICE facility—once the backdrop for grim standoffs and militarized optics—has

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