Latest posts
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When the Crime Rate Falls, Call in the Troops
Washington, D.C. is enjoying its lowest violent crime levels in over thirty years. The data says so: a 35% drop in 2024, another 26% decline so far in 2025. Homicide is down. Robbery is down. Carjackings are down. The FBI and DOJ dashboards are practically waving at us with little “congratulations, you survived the nineties”
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Florida’s Book Ban Just Banned Fahrenheit 451—Meet the Literary Irony Police
Censorship never starts with flags and alarms. It begins with scare stories, moral panic, and a public so hungry for control that they let the system eat the books one cover-sized bite at a time. Florida’s “parental rights” show was never about rights. It was about rewriting history by force. Thankfully, in Orlando, the script…
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Democracy, Sushi, and the Border Patrol: A California Tragedy in Three Acts
This wasn’t just an optics mess. It was the full collision of American contradictions: California progressivism on stage, federal authoritarianism in the wings, and a museum built on history’s wounds forced into a cameo role. But Newsom understood the assignment. Trump may love chaos, but Newsom knows how to surf it. And on that plaza…
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The American Dream Was Always an HOA Scam
The American Dream was never a promise; it was a performance. A stage set that looked believable until the lights flickered and the backstage was exposed—cheap plywood, unpaid labor, and a cast list missing half the country. MAGA wants to dim the lights again, to sell the illusion one more time. But illusions don’t pay…
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Gavin Newsom Out-Trumps Trump: When the Roast Becomes Policy
Gavin Newsom didn’t just out-Trump Trump—he built a trap out of Trump’s own ego, baited it with a meme, and then invited the press to watch the door swing shut. The danger is that once you start playing Trump’s game, you’re bound by his rules, and those rules are simple: Always make it bigger, louder,…
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Pete Buttigieg and the Litmus Test That Ate 2028
This was supposed to be Buttigieg’s strength: grace under pressure, a knack for threading impossible needles. Instead, he’s left with the political equivalent of a half-buttoned shirt in a job interview—too casual for the formal crowd, too formal for the casual one. The Gaza litmus test has no safe answers. But what Pete Buttigieg discovered…
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The Hunting Wives and Why I Loved It: A Satirical Love Letter
The Hunting Wives doesn’t just watch you—it pulls you into its velvet vortex and dares you to escape. It’s not refined; it’s refined chaos. We’re diving into this unpredictable, morally acute carnival not out of taste, but obsession. Because when a show can be queer, kinky, satirical, and absurdly bingeable all at once—you don’t love…
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Taylor Swift’s Glitter Bomb: When Pop Rollouts Become Mini-Civilizational Events
This is not just an album. It’s an immersive artifact, a test in how much primetime art we want to live in. The life of a showgirl isn’t just sparkles—it’s strategy. It’s mapping meaning onto every costume, camera angle, track title. It’s willingness to make pop feel momentous again, but burdened with layers of consumption…
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When Your AI Won’t Pledge Allegiance
Someday, there might be a museum exhibit about this: The Chatbot That Knew Too Much. And if the MAGA museum curators get their hands on it, the placard will read: “An early example of AI misinformation, quickly corrected by patriotic engineers.” The rest of us will know it for what it was: the only thing…
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Purge Season at the FBI: Now Streaming in the Authoritarian Originals Category
It’s hard to keep up with the entertainment landscape these days. One week it’s “Shark Week,” the next it’s “Barbenheimer,” and now — premiering exclusively on the Federal Bureau of Investigations’ morally grey channel — we have The Purge: Loyalty Oath Edition. This season stars Kash Patel, the FBI’s current Director and apparent graduate of