Latest posts
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“You’re on Your Own, Kid”: The Chaos That Would Follow Killing the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare)
Picture it: You wake up tomorrow and the Affordable Care Act—the rickety scaffolding that keeps our health-care carnival from collapsing—has vanished overnight. No repeal-and-replace. No Medicare-for-All sequel. Just an empty folder where your coverage used to live, and a nation of 330 million people standing in line at CVS holding expired insurance cards and prayer
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Theocracy Is So 1095 AD: Why I Defend Your Right to Pray So I’m Free Not To
An atheist’s field guide to keeping the pulpit off the payroll and the state out of your soul I’m an atheist. Not the hat-throwing, slogan-on-a-bumper kind—more the “coffee, quiet, and a stubborn allergy to being preached at by anyone with a lanyard” variety. I have no congregation, no creed, and no appetite for a government-approved
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The Man Who Sued Himself: How Trump Turned “Equal Justice Under Law” into “Cash App Me, DOJ”
If late-stage empire ever needed a mascot, Donald Trump just nominated himself—and sent the bill to the Justice Department. According to The New York Times (and verified by outlets that still remember what fact-checking is), the President of the United States is currently pressing his own Justice Department to pay him $230 million. Not for
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The Mirage Economy: When the GDP Grows but Nobody Hires
It’s official: America is thriving—on paper. The GDP is glowing like a ring light on a politician’s livestream. The stock market is preening. The White House comms shop is drafting victory tweets about “resilience.” And yet, if you’re an actual human being with a pulse, a rent payment, and a résumé floating in the void,
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Watchdog? More Like Watchdogged: The Tanking of Trump’s “Nazi-Streak” Nominee
You’d think after a year of government face-plants, someone in Trump’s orbit might nominate a watchdog who didn’t actively bite democracy. Instead, the White House delivered Paul Ingrassia—a 30-year-old law school graduate with the résumé depth of a TikTok bio—to run the Office of Special Counsel, the federal agency designed to protect whistleblowers and keep
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The Ten-Minute Louvre Heist: How to Rob an Empire Before Your Coffee Cools
There’s a reason Paris loves a good crime. The city romanticized heists before Hollywood did, and it’s been living off the legend of the 1911 Mona Lisa caper for more than a century. But this one isn’t charming. This one hurts. In a daylight raid that lasted roughly the length of an espresso break, a
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Fascism, ‘Woke,’ and $7 Lattes: How We Got Played While the Billionaires Cashed In
From immigration panics to crime bait, the outrage machine drowns out the boring policies that actually save you money. A love letter to boring policies in a country addicted to feelings “Kitchen table issues” sounds like a placemat you forgot to rinse. It lands in the brain like a PSA about flossing. Everyone nods at
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Trump Tariff Tantrum: How “Make It Here” Became “Pay More There”
It’s a strange feeling to live inside a macroeconomic cautionary tale while your grocery receipt doubles as documentation. From North Carolina’s Walmarts to Oregon’s farmers’ markets, the new national pastime isn’t baseball—it’s comparing the price of eggs like it’s insider trading. Somewhere between the auto aisle and the frozen section, America’s grand experiment in “decouple-by-diktat”
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Blood, Synergy, and Severance: How Paramount Skydance Turned Layoffs Into a Business Model
There’s a certain elegance to corporate cruelty when it’s delivered in PowerPoint. The font is soothing, the charts are blue, and the word “transformation” is used at least three times before anyone says “job cuts.” Paramount Skydance, the newly merged media hydra now helmed by David Ellison, has decided that the best way to impress
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Trump the Wannabe King and the Sludge: A Royal Flush from the Sky of Delusion
Some men crave legacy. Others crave power. And then there are those who crave the cinematic experience of dumping digital sewage on protesters while “Danger Zone” blares in the background. Donald J. Trump, patron saint of grievance and green screen, has once again redefined leadership—not as the art of governance, but as a content genre.