Latest posts
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Kerrville Welcomes Its Most “Extraordinary” Visitor: The Einstein Visa Queen Returns!
BREAKING: The Hill Country was briefly graced with otherworldly greatness this week as Melania Trump, First Lady Emerita and alleged immigrant overachiever, descended upon Kerrville with her husband, the 45th and possibly 47th President, Donald J. Trump. Let’s hope ICE don’t find out. Locals were stunned to learn that Kerrville, long famous for its deer
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BUBONIC PLAGUE IN ARIZONA: 14TH CENTURY ICON MAKES UNWELCOME COMEBACK
FLAGSTAFF, AZ — Just when you thought the only plague still circulating was the group chat from your old job, northern Arizona has been struck by a blast from the past — and not the cool, vintage kind. Health officials have confirmed that a local resident has died from pneumonic plague, a grim throwback infection
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The Man of Steal: White House Declares Trump Superman in Latest Tweet
In a move that confirms we are living in the world’s most expensive community theater production, the White House has officially tweeted a photo of Donald Trump dressed as Superman—yes, that Superman—with the caption:“THE SYMBOL OF HOPE. TRUTH. JUSTICE. THE AMERICAN WAY. SUPERMAN TRUMP.” Somewhere in a Kansas cornfield, Clark Kent just facepalmed so hard
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The Sugar Rot: Why I Wrote The Bitter Aftertaste
The Bitter Aftertaste I’ve always loved zombie stories. Not just the blood and chaos (though, let’s be honest—I live for a good gore-streaked takedown), but the truth they expose. The way they strip people down to who they really are when the Wi-Fi’s gone, the power’s out, and the rules don’t matter anymore. But with
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A Fragile Armistice: Love, War, and the Prison That Doesn’t End
A Fragile Armistice “You shouldn’t care what happens to me.”“That’s the problem, Vane. I already do.”—Dialogue between Tillman and Vane Let me tell you where this story doesn’t begin:It doesn’t begin with a grand battlefield charge, or a sweeping Southern mansion, or patriotic speeches about freedom. “I don’t need forgiveness, Colonel. I need… I need
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NASA: Now Appointing Sean Duffy Astronauts
Well, buckle up Earthlings—because America’s favorite space agency is about to blast off in an entirely different direction. No, not toward Mars. Not toward the Moon. Not even toward basic logic. This week, over 2,000 senior NASA employees have been handed pink slips as part of President Trump’s bold new initiative to “trim the federal
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Jeff Bezos Sells $666 Million in Amazon Stock—Apocalypse Now Eligible for Prime Delivery
The Mark of the Beast? More like the Mark of Bezos. In a move that has conspiracy theorists foaming at the mouth and theologians nervously clutching their Kindles, Jeff Bezos has sold exactly $666 million worth of Amazon stock this week—because apparently, when you’re the world’s richest man, symbolism is just another flex. That’s right.
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The Flawless Imperative: Why I Wrote It, and Why It Matters
The Flawless Imperative Some stories don’t start with a character—they start with a question. For The Flawless Imperative, the question was this: What happens when the pursuit of perfection becomes more dangerous than the flaws it seeks to erase? This book was born out of my frustration with our cultural obsession with “fixing” people—our bodies,
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Man of Woke: James Gunn’s ‘Superman’ Sparks Truth, Justice, and Fox News Outrage
New Superman Soars at Box Office, Melts Snowflakes Faster Than Laser Vision In a cinematic event that has right-wing Twitter clutching its pearls harder than Kryptonite, James Gunn’s new Superman reboot has dared—DARED—to do the unthinkable: portray Superman as… an immigrant. That’s right. The man who literally arrived on Earth inside an alien spacecraft and
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James Gunn’s ‘Superman’: A New Dawn for DC—Or Just Another Flight Delay?
James Gunn—the man who gave us a talking raccoon with daddy issues and a walking tree with vocabulary-based boundaries—is now soaring headfirst into Metropolis with Superman (2025), the film intended to resurrect the DC Universe from the flaming crater left by a decade of brooding billionaires and beige cinematography. And fans everywhere are asking the