Latest posts
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The No-Fly Zone of the Id: How Trump Annexed Venezuela in 280 Characters or Less
The airspace above a sovereign nation is usually governed by a complex web of treaties, international conventions, and the boring, reliable physics of radar and air traffic control. But in the year 2025, the laws of aerodynamics and the Chicago Convention on International Civil Aviation have been superseded by a more potent force: the Caps
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The Myth of the “Good Old Days”: A Thanksgiving Toast to the Eras That Tried to Erase Us
We gather here today, in the warm glow of incandescent bulbs and familial obligation, to perform the sacred ritual of forced gratitude. The table is set. The turkey is dry. The cranberry sauce retains the ridges of the can, a gelatinous monument to industrial efficiency. And around the perimeter, a collection of relatives—some beloved, some
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The Politics of the Kids’ Table: A Survival Guide for the Holidays
The cranberry sauce is shaped like the can. The turkey is dry enough to be used as attic insulation. The tension in the room is vibrating at a frequency usually reserved for bomb disposal units or hostage negotiations. Welcome to Thanksgiving in America. We are gathered here today to worship at the altar of “Family
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The Secretary of War vs. The Astronaut: Why the Pentagon Is Court-Martialing a Senator for Reading the Manual
The transition from a democratic republic to a reality television autocracy is usually marked by a change in the stationery. In the case of the Department of Defense, the rebranding has been less about letterhead and more about a fundamental shift in the metaphysics of the building. Under the stewardship of Pete Hegseth, a man
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Red Scare 8.0: How Idiots Still Don’t Understand The Difference Between Socialism and Communism
Why You Should Probably Google Words Before You Scream Them at Thanksgiving Dinner Welcome, patriots, comrades, and confused centrists. Grab a beverage—preferably one produced by a worker-owned cooperative or a ruthless multinational conglomerate, depending on your vibe—because we are about to embark on a journey. A journey into the heart of darkness. By “darkness,” I
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The Bartender Who Bought the Bar: Why AOC’s Senate Run Is the Chaos We Deserve
It has been seven years since a twenty-eight-year-old bartender from the Bronx looked at the decaying edifice of the Queens Democratic machine, ordered a seltzer, and then proceeded to bulldoze the entire building. We all remember the shock of 2018. We remember the “AOC phenomenon,” a phrase used by consultants to describe something they hoped
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No Good Deed and the Critics: Why ‘Wicked’ Is the Tragedy We Deserve
The lights went down in the theater, and for a brief moment, the collective anxiety of the world—the elections, the economy, the general sense that we are living in the final season of a poorly written reality show—suspended itself in the dark. I sat there with Matthew, my fiance and designated emotional anchor, and our
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Prestige TV, Claire Danes, and One Very Suspicious Neighbor Who Definitely Knows How to Wield a Metaphor
Netflix’s The Beast in Me proves that nothing says date night like grief, queer family trauma, a maybe murderer next door, and Claire Danes pacing her kitchen like she is waiting for ghosts to RSVP. There is a particular joy in prestige television that manages to be both a warm blanket and a sharpened blade.
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MAGA Should Remember That Loyalty Is A One-Way Door In Trump’s World
The pattern is not complicated, it is a shredder that activates the second anyone near him grows a conscience, a spine, or an audience of their own. There is a certain look people get when they realize the room they thought was a team is actually a stage. It is the look of a person
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Pete Hegseth is the Only One Willing to Touch Trumps Southern Spear
Somewhere in the bowels of the Pentagon, there must be a windowless room where names for military operations are spitballed by men who still believe Axe body spray counts as grooming. It is the only explanation for how, during a national reckoning over Epstein’s global child trafficking ring and the Trump administration’s frantic effort to