Latest posts
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Move Over, The Notebook—My Boyfriend Moved to a Shithole For Me
Romeo drank poison for love.Jack froze to death in the North Atlantic.Allie gave up wealth and status for Noah’s sweaty carpentry chest. And Matthew?Matthew moved to Abilene, Texas. And that, dear reader, is what we call a real-ass love story. Let’s be honest—every great romance needs a setting.Pride and Prejudice had the English countryside.When Harry
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This Is Not a Drill: When the Soft Launch Goes Nuclear
📘 The Soft Launch | 🖇️ Amazon Author Page Let’s get one thing clear: I don’t write fairy tales. I write survival stories dressed up like genre fiction. Horror in heels. Romance in red flags. Comedy that comes with trauma triggers and a Google Doc of therapy notes. Because real love doesn’t arrive with a
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You’re Fired: Trump Finds the Real Culprit Behind America’s Job Woes (Hint: It’s Not Capitalism)
In a surprising twist that shocked absolutely no one, former President Donald J. Trump has once again taken bold, decisive, and entirely unhinged action against the greatest threat to American prosperity: math. Specifically, the kind of math that results in job reports that make him look bad. Following a “disappointing” economic update, which revealed that
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Why Thanks for the House, Stupid Might Be the Most Honest Love Story You’ll Read This Year
ChatGPT said: “We grieved him differently. He fell apart; I took inventory.” Thanks for the House, Stupid is a darkly funny, emotionally wrecked queer romantic dramedy where grief throws two ex-rivals into forced cohabitation—and maybe something like healing. Haunted, horny, and halfway healed.
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July’s Over. Thank You, Everyone: 7,174 Books Sold, 64 Titles Published, and One Heart About to Burst
In July, I sold 7,174 books across 64 titles—my first full month of self-publishing after years of silence and shelved manuscripts. From memoir to romance to horror, you showed up. Thank you. Every read, share, and review keeps this dream alive.
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Kamala Harris Declines to Govern: California Weeps, 2028 Holds Its Breath
In a week already saturated with bloated indictments, poorly aged tweets, and men with microphones saying “I miss when politics was normal,” Kamala Harris made the most powerful move in modern politics: saying no. She will not run for governor of California. Not because she can’t. Not because she’s lost the thread. But because she’s
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Finally, Equal Rights to Cringe: “I Kissed A Boy” Puts Gays Where They Belong—on Trashy Dating Shows
So it’s finally happened. The gays have a dating show. Not a makeover show. Not a trauma documentary. Not another sob-stained coming out arc framed by string lights and tearful piano music. An actual, honest-to-God dating show. And not just any dating show—a trashy, sun-drenched, kissing-at-hello reality dating show with barely clothed men, confessionals, and
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Business as Usual: A Two-Shooter Monday in the Land of the Free
There’s a uniquely American efficiency to how we process mass shootings. As if the country were run by a bureaucratic vending machine that now just spits out blood instead of soda. Insert thoughts. Receive prayers. Try again tomorrow. Today’s patriotic performance art featured not one but two active shooter incidents. First, the Grand Sierra Resort
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The Abs Are a Distraction: Biden’s Brain, Trump’s Everything, and the GOP’s Quest for a Mirror
If there’s one thing House Republicans care about, it’s fitness. Physical fitness. Mental fitness. Political fitness. Fitness to serve, fitness to lead, fitness to blink in time with the national anthem. And so, in a bold bipartisan act of historical concern, the GOP has launched a sweeping investigation into former President Joe Biden’s cognitive ability
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Comic‑Con 2025: When Tron, Robots, and Redux Make Us Question Reality
San Diego Comic‑Con 2025 has officially arrived, bringing with it the usual spectacle: bold trailers, unexpected celebrity cameos, and the kind of hyperreal sci‑fi enthusiasm that makes your real life feel like dial‑up internet. Here’s your satirical review of the weirdest, wildest, and most neon-lit highlights: 1. Tron: Ares Takes Over Hall H Disney premiered