Latest posts
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Gratitude in the Blast Zone: A Love Letter to Matthew, Chemo, Chihuahuas, and the Art of Not Dying in Texas
We are told to be thankful for the big things: health, family, the roof over our heads. But this year, in the twilight of 2025, I find myself offering a quiet, fervent prayer to Beyonce and Lady Gaga of gratitude for something far more specific, something that doesn’t fit neatly on a Hallmark card. I
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The Politics of the Kids’ Table: A Survival Guide for the Holidays
The cranberry sauce is shaped like the can. The turkey is dry enough to be used as attic insulation. The tension in the room is vibrating at a frequency usually reserved for bomb disposal units or hostage negotiations. Welcome to Thanksgiving in America. We are gathered here today to worship at the altar of “Family
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The unauthorized History of the Home of the Brave: A Guide to 400 Years of squatter’s Rights
We like to tell ourselves a very specific story about the United States. It is a story printed on glossy brochures, recited by politicians with wet eyes, and taught to children before they are old enough to read the footnotes. It is the story of a “Nation of Immigrants,” a melting pot where the tired,
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The First Illegal Aliens Wore Buckle Shoes: A Thanksgiving Guide to Stolen Land and Hypocrisy
The truth is that America is a messy, violent, beautiful, hypocritical project. It is a country capable of profound generosity and staggering cruelty. We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants. We are a nation born of revolution that fears change. We are a nation of stolen land that is obsessed with property rights.
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Red Scare 8.0: How Idiots Still Don’t Understand The Difference Between Socialism and Communism
Why You Should Probably Google Words Before You Scream Them at Thanksgiving Dinner Welcome, patriots, comrades, and confused centrists. Grab a beverage—preferably one produced by a worker-owned cooperative or a ruthless multinational conglomerate, depending on your vibe—because we are about to embark on a journey. A journey into the heart of darkness. By “darkness,” I
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The Star-Spangled Bot Farm: How Elon Accidentally Doxxed the “America First” Foreign Legion
There is a specific kind of schadenfreude that tastes like champagne mixed with battery acid, and on November 20, 2025, the internet drank deep from the cup. For years, we have been told that the “silent majority” is rising, that the roar of the MAGA movement is the organic, thundering voice of the forgotten American
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The Greatest Scam Ever Sold: How They Convinced You the Guy Next to You Stole Your Wallet
The central crisis of American life is not that we are spending too much money on avocado toast. It is not that the government is printing too much cash to fund “woke” library books. It is not even the terrifying prospect that a drag queen might read a story to a child in a public
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The Ring Is in the Dishwasher, but the Marriage Is in the Sewer: Why Usha Vance Might Finally Be Tired of the MAGA Casting Call
There is a specific genre of political theater that plays out in the unspoken spaces of a marriage, a silent drama usually reserved for the frantic final act of a melodramatic screenplay. But recently, that drama has spilled out onto the campaign trail and into the glossy pages of People magazine, centering on the ring
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No Good Deed and the Critics: Why ‘Wicked’ Is the Tragedy We Deserve
The lights went down in the theater, and for a brief moment, the collective anxiety of the world—the elections, the economy, the general sense that we are living in the final season of a poorly written reality show—suspended itself in the dark. I sat there with Matthew, my fiance and designated emotional anchor, and our
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Stream, Scream, or Starve: Why the Warner Bros. Fire Sale Is About to Double Your Bill and Kill Your News
The carcass of Warner Bros. Discovery is currently twitching on the auction block, and the sharks are circling with the dead-eyed precision of algorithms that have already decided your subscription price is too low. It is a scene of grim corporate inevitability, a garage sale of American culture where the items on offer are not