Latest posts
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A Royal Circus, a Domestic Inquisition, and the Death of Late Night: Trump’s September Trifecta
The Pageant in Windsor There’s no such thing as a small Trump visit. Not when the U.K. rolls out Windsor pomp for a man who treats Buckingham Palace like a casino floor. King Charles III, looking every bit the monarch who once had to weather tabloids about tampon fantasies, gamely escorted Donald Trump through ceremonial
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Merit, Excellence, and a Half-Billion Dollar Shuffle: The Education Department’s New Hunger Games
The Department of Education has always been a strange beast—part accountant, part social engineer, part referee for our endless cultural blood sports. On September 15, it decided to moonlight as a pit boss, shuffling chips from one table to another, all while insisting this was about “merit and excellence.” Translation: somebody’s walking out of the
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Pam Bondi Declares War on the First Amendment—Then Googles What It Actually Says
You’d think the Attorney General of the United States would know the First Amendment. You’d think she’d have at least skimmed it once in law school, maybe while flipping through her notes on “How Not to Start a Constitutional Crisis.” And yet here we are. Pam Bondi—Donald Trump’s Attorney General—managed to light Washington on fire
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The Sundance Kid Rides Off: Robert Redford and the Indie Dream We Pretend Is Still Alive
The Perfect Death for a Perfect Myth Robert Redford died in his sleep at 89. Publicist Cindi Berger said it happened at his home at Sundance, tucked in the Utah mountains near Provo Canyon. No cause given, no final scandal, no messy revelation about a burner phone and a crypto scam. Just a clean exit,
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Hispanic Heritage Month Cancelled Due to Immigration Enforcement: Culture Meets Checkpoint
The Month That Wasn’t September 15 used to mark the start of Hispanic Heritage Month—a time for parades, mariachi, food festivals, and school assemblies pretending arroz con pollo is “cultural immersion.” This year, it marked something else entirely: postponements and cancellations. Chicago’s El Grito festival? Cancelled. Sacramento’s celebrations? Postponed. Charlotte’s events? Scrapped. CBS, AP, and
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Apple’s Next Ten Things: Because Owning Your Soul Once Wasn’t Enough
The Launch Avalanche No One Asked For Apple has lined up ten more products for release in the coming cycle. Ten. Because apparently, the cure for market stagnation isn’t innovation—it’s attrition. If one shiny rectangle doesn’t hypnotize you, surely ten will. The list reads like a fever dream of incrementalism: a faster Apple TV, a
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The Emmys Crown Their New Royalty: Streamers, Sad Billionaires, and Seth Rogen
Award shows love to pretend they’re about art, but the Emmys have always been about bragging rights. Who owns the zeitgeist? Who commands the hashtags? Who can throw the longest acceptance speech while orchestra violins nervously twitch in the pit? And this year, the 77th Primetime Emmys gave us the answer in flashing lights: streaming
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In response to prematurely blaming liberals for Charlie Kirk: Maybe Stop Acting Like Fascists If You Don’t Want to Be Called Fascists
There’s a game the American right has perfected. It goes like this: they say or do something horrifying—racist, misogynist, homophobic, authoritarian—then when people point it out, they act wounded, offended, persecuted. How dare you call us fascist? they cry, clutching their pearls with one hand while sharpening voter suppression laws with the other. It’s a
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Charlie Kirk’s Assassination by MAGA Gun Nut Tyler Robinson and the Myth of Martyrdom
It’s troubling—horrifying, really—that Charlie Kirk was assassinated. Political violence is never the answer, not when it’s directed at the left, not when it’s directed at the right, not when it’s directed at the loud, obnoxious pundits who thrive on outrage, and not when it’s directed at their most vulnerable targets. A functioning democracy cannot survive
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Stagflation Lite™: Now With Extra Tariffs and Tomato Surcharges
America, you can relax. Inflation is only at its highest pace since January, jobless claims are at their highest since October 2021, and the Labor Department has discovered that somewhere between April 2024 and March 2025, we misplaced nearly a million jobs. (Don’t worry, they’re probably under the couch with your missing socks and Biden’s