Latest posts
-
I Like My Dallas Neat, With No ICE
There’s an old saying in Texas politics: if you can’t fix a problem, create a new one that sounds expensive. Enter Dallas Mayor Eric Johnson, a man so enamored with federal “partnerships” that he’s now trying to marry local policing to ICE, as if that’s the sequel anyone wanted. You’d think the recent ICE facility
-
Fascism, ‘Woke,’ and $7 Lattes: How We Got Played While the Billionaires Cashed In
From immigration panics to crime bait, the outrage machine drowns out the boring policies that actually save you money. A love letter to boring policies in a country addicted to feelings “Kitchen table issues” sounds like a placemat you forgot to rinse. It lands in the brain like a PSA about flossing. Everyone nods at
-
Ceasefire on Tap: How Gaza’s “Pause” Turned Into a Sistema of Suspended Violence
There’s a baffling rhythm to modern war: the violence pauses, the cameras blink once, and the scoreboard resets—but nothing actually changes. On October 17, after Israeli officials claimed Hamas fighters killed two Israeli soldiers near Rafah and breached the U.S.–brokered truce, Israel launched what it called its heaviest wave of post-ceasefire airstrikes—targeting tunnels, weapons sites,
-
Shutdown, Smear, & Scapegoat: How GOP Messaging Became the Crisis
There’s something theatrically grotesque about a nation grinding to a halt while its communications director snarls into a microphone that the party in control of half the electorate is really a coalition of “Hamas terrorists, illegal aliens, and violent criminals.” On October 17, 2025, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt breathed those words on Fox
-
Prince Andrew’s Title Tantrum: When the Crown Smells Smoke From the Epstein Files
There’s something about the smell of royal scandal that hits differently—less like smoke and more like an expensive candle trying to cover up the scent of a body decomposing under the palace floorboards. The official word from Buckingham Palace this week is that Prince Andrew, formerly the Duke of York, is voluntarily “stepping back” from
-
The Pentagon’s New Press Policy: Silence Is Security
There’s a strange kind of quiet settling over Washington, the kind that hums beneath fluorescent lights and seeps into locked hallways. You can almost hear it in the Pentagon now, where the familiar chaos of reporters—phones buzzing, keyboards clacking, voices volleying across corridors—has been replaced by the steady whirr of an air vent. The silence
-
San Francisco: Elon Musk Says Send in the Troops, but Make It Disruptive
In a city famous for kombucha, kale, and kombucha-flavored kale, it was only a matter of time before San Francisco’s billionaires decided the next great innovation would be fascism—but with better UX. On October 12, 2025, the San Francisco Chronicle reported the unthinkable: Elon Musk and Marc Benioff, two of the Bay Area’s most inflated
-
Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies
Congratulations, America. We’ve finally done it. We’ve brought back a disease that modern medicine already defeated when bell-bottoms were still a gleam in disco’s eye. Somewhere, Jonas Salk is shaking his head in the afterlife, muttering, “I leave you people alone for sixty years and you start playing Oregon Trail again.” According to NPR, the
-
Outbreak of the RFK Jr. and Russ Vought Virus: No CDC Employees Left To Treat It
If you ever needed proof that America has officially become a satire written by a malfunctioning chatbot, behold: the CDC accidentally fired itself during a government shutdown. Not metaphorically. Not “downsized for efficiency.” Literally—hundreds of our nation’s top epidemiologists, lab chiefs, and field investigators got layoff emails mid-pandemic prep because someone in Washington pressed “Send
-
When the Great Shutdown Becomes the Great Purge: Welcome to the RIF Apocalypse
Week two of the federal shutdown was supposed to be grim but familiar—employees furloughed, services on pause, griping about microwave lines in the Pentagon cafeteria. But this week, the White House slipped a clause into the apocalypse: permanent layoffs, not temporary pauses. On October 2025’s midpoint, OMB Director Russ Vought dropped the bomb that “the