Latest posts
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Siri, Rebooted (Again): Apple’s Never-Ending Quest for AI Credibility
On August 22, 2025, MacRumors published a guide that basically confirmed what anyone who has ever yelled “HEY SIRI” into a pillow already suspected: Apple’s voice assistant is being completely gutted. Again. The so-called “LLM Siri” overhaul won’t arrive until spring 2026—because nothing says innovation like promising to fix the thing you broke five years…
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Jurassic Runway: Britain’s New Dinosaur Brings Sail-Back Chic to the Early Cretaceous
On August 22, 2025, scientists revealed the debut of the year’s most unexpected fashion icon: a sail-backed iguanodontian dinosaur from the Isle of Wight, Istiorachis macarthurae. Discovered in rocks from the Early Cretaceous and strutting out of the Wessex Formation at a mere 125 million years old, this plant-eating beast arrived on the scene with…
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Silicon Nationalism: Trump Buys a Piece of Intel
On August 22, 2025, President Donald Trump announced that the U.S. government is now the proud owner of 10% of Intel. That’s right—your tax dollars have been converted into ~433.3 million non-voting shares priced at $20.47 each. Wall Street analysts say the investment is worth between $8.9 billion and $11.1 billion, depending on whether you…
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Whitewashing the Gallery: Trump’s Smithsonian Revisionism
On August 22, 2025, The Guardian ran Francine Prose’s surgical essay on President Trump’s newest culture-war bonfire: Smithsonian museums, and specifically his complaint that they focus “too much on how bad slavery was.” Imagine saying that in 2025, after four centuries of systemic exploitation, while standing on a marble floor your ancestors never had to…
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The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera
On August 22, 2025, FBI agents descended on John Bolton’s Bethesda home and his Washington, D.C., office. They carted off boxes while Montgomery County police stood by, politely blocking the cul-de-sac like it was the Macy’s Day Parade for subpoenas. The stated reason: investigating whether Bolton illegally possessed or shared classified information. The unstated reason:…
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How to Politely Erase History Without Mussing Your Hair: The Smithsonian vs. The Woke Exterminators
There’s a special kind of American irony in watching a White House that can’t stop talking about “cancel culture” spend its waning days trying to cancel the Smithsonian. Canceling a comedian’s Netflix special is authoritarianism, we’re told. But rewriting a museum plaque about Benjamin Franklin’s enslaved servants? That’s patriotism, baby. On August 20, 2025, Donald…
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Deep in the Heart of Gerrymander: Texas Republicans Redraw the Map (Again)
Texas, land of wide skies, brisket smoke, and congressional maps redrawn so often you’d think they were doodles in the back of Greg Abbott’s notebook. On August 20, 2025, the Texas House passed yet another Republican-engineered mid-decade redistricting plan during a special session—because if at first you don’t succeed at democracy, just redraw it until…
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Goodbye Clearances, Hello Creamed Corn: Gabbard’s Security-Purge Reality Show
What happened today? Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard announced she’s revoking security clearances for 37 current and former “intelligence professionals,” alleging they “politicized and manipulated intelligence.” She insisted the move was made at President Trump’s direction. Let’s unpack this with surgical precision—because this isn’t a policy shift. This is the messy performance art of…
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The Meta Wristband: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Looking Like a Cyborg Mall Cop
Somewhere in Menlo Park, a Meta engineer is staring lovingly at a pair of plastic frames that cost $800, muttering: “This time, it’s different.” The glasses? Sure, they’re fine. Sleek even. Oakley-branded, Ray-Ban styled, whispering normalcy in a way that Google Glass never managed. But then—like a bad sequel nobody asked for—the neural wristband enters…
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Sneak Peek: The First Chapter of Sleeping Fairy
Back in 2018, I drafted a retelling of Sleeping Beauty that was never really about castles or curses. It was about MySpace. It was about being twenty-one in the early 2000s—when dial-up whined through your bedroom wall, when your whole life could be demolished in a single public post, when “delete” wasn’t an option because…