Latest posts
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The Writers Who Shaped My Brain, My Voice, and My Emotional Damage
There are authors you read once and forget, and then there are the ones who crawl inside your head, redecorate your worldview, and leave you with a lifelong case of existential introspection. This is a thank-you note (or warning label?) for some of the writers who’ve done just that—brilliant, dangerous minds I keep returning to,
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Julio César Chávez Jr. Arrested for Cartel Ties, Surprising Exactly No One With a Wi-Fi Connection
Breaking News: Julio César Chávez Jr., professional boxer and full-time cautionary tale, has been arrested for alleged cartel ties and now faces possible deportation. Because, apparently, punching people for a living wasn’t sketchy enough—he needed a side hustle in international crime too. If you’re struggling to remember who Julio Chávez Jr. is, here’s a quick
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Title: Ctrl+Alt+Delete Humanity: Microsoft’s Brave New World of Pink Slips and Pixels
In a stunning display of corporate efficiency—or perhaps just deeply caffeinated irony—Microsoft has announced sweeping layoffs in the very same breath as boasting about its latest multi-billion-dollar AI investments. It’s like firing your entire wedding band mid-reception while congratulating yourself for downloading Spotify Premium. Thousands of employees across various departments found themselves abruptly “restructured,” which
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100 Times I Didn’t Flinch: My Book Quote Collection
From Small Town Gayby “If God made me, then either He’s not angry—or He’s not very good at His job.” “I was born with a bruise on my soul and a glitter bomb in my ribcage.” “Coming out didn’t feel brave. It felt like bleeding in front of people who cheered the wound.” “I didn’t…
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SpaceX and the City: Elon’s Galactic Baby Mamas
Welcome to “SpaceX & the City,” the only show where the launchpad is your loins and the paternity test is pending. Today’s episode? A whirlwind romp through the Musk-iverse—a place where kids are named after Wi-Fi passwords and co-parenting involves occasional Twitter likes. Let’s meet the brave women who made the bold decision to bear
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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Heal: The Ghost Policy Still Marching in Combat Boots
Ah yes. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell—that beloved Clinton-era gem of half-measure equality. The 1993 military policy that essentially told queer Americans, “You can serve your country, but could you please do it invisibly?” Because nothing says “thank you for your service” like “now lie about who you are, suppress your identity, and don’t you dare
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Why I Write: A Totally Reasonable, Not-At-All-Desperate Manifesto of Emotional Chaos and Delusions of Immortality
Someone recently asked me why I write. Just a casual question. Like “What’s your Starbucks order?” or “Do you think the apocalypse will be AI or climate-based?” And after initially wanting to answer with a vague “Because it’s cheaper than therapy,” I realized… no, this is actually a rich and layered question. So I dug
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Y’allternative Medicine: The Only Essential Oil Strong Enough to Cure Facts
Welcome to 2025, where science is optional, vibes are currency, and the cure for cancer might be hiding in a mason jar full of moonshine and bootstraps. Forget Big Pharma. Forget Moderna. Forget literally anything that went through clinical trials. There’s a new sheriff in town and she’s wearing an “Ivermectin Is My Truth” t-shirt
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The Masculinity Patch™: Because Fragile Men Deserve a Break Too (From Themselves)
Now available in three flavors: Blame-Free Bourbon, Gym Bro Musk, and Silent Cry in a Ford F-150. For generations, society has coddled fragile masculinity like it’s a rare bird we must preserve—despite the fact that it keeps shitting on everything. We’ve tiptoed around egos, handed out participation trophies for bare minimum fatherhood, and applauded every
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Dumbexia™: Because Ignorance Is Terminal, but Confidence Is Airborne
New from the makers of Denialitol and Narcissin comes Dumbexia™ — the first daily prescription medication designed specifically for people who think “I did my own research” is a personality type. Who Should Take Dumbexia™? Dumbexia™ isn’t just a medication—it’s a public service. How It Works: Dumbexia™ delivers slow-release facts into the bloodstream via a