Latest posts

  • ANTIFA: The Shadowy Organization That Doesn’t Exist (But Still Lives Rent-Free in GOP Heads)

    ANTIFA: The Shadowy Organization That Doesn’t Exist (But Still Lives Rent-Free in GOP Heads)

    America has a long history of misunderstanding things on purpose. Evolution? “Just a theory.” Climate change? “Maybe the sun’s just in a mood.” The First Amendment? “It means I can say the n-word at work without getting fired.” And now, the most recent, most hysterical misunderstanding: ANTIFA. Yes, ANTIFA—our country’s favorite boogeyman, the clandestine, hyper-coordinated,

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  • Hispanic Heritage Month Cancelled Due to Immigration Enforcement: Culture Meets Checkpoint

    Hispanic Heritage Month Cancelled Due to Immigration Enforcement: Culture Meets Checkpoint

    The Month That Wasn’t September 15 used to mark the start of Hispanic Heritage Month—a time for parades, mariachi, food festivals, and school assemblies pretending arroz con pollo is “cultural immersion.” This year, it marked something else entirely: postponements and cancellations. Chicago’s El Grito festival? Cancelled. Sacramento’s celebrations? Postponed. Charlotte’s events? Scrapped. CBS, AP, and

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  • The Emmys Crown Their New Royalty: Streamers, Sad Billionaires, and Seth Rogen

    The Emmys Crown Their New Royalty: Streamers, Sad Billionaires, and Seth Rogen

    Award shows love to pretend they’re about art, but the Emmys have always been about bragging rights. Who owns the zeitgeist? Who commands the hashtags? Who can throw the longest acceptance speech while orchestra violins nervously twitch in the pit? And this year, the 77th Primetime Emmys gave us the answer in flashing lights: streaming

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  • The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby

    The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby

    We like to tell ourselves that human beings are noble, empathetic creatures. We write novels about kindness, sing songs about love, build religions around compassion. But spend thirty seconds in line at Starbucks or thirty minutes Doordashing lukewarm Chipotle to someone in yoga pants, and the truth hits you in the face like a soggy

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  • The Blessing and Curse of Yelp Health Scores

    The Blessing and Curse of Yelp Health Scores

    There are few things more American than combining capitalism, technology, and shame. Enter Yelp health scores: the best invention in modern dining, and also the absolute worst. It’s the digital equivalent of peeking behind the kitchen door and realizing that your artisanal avocado toast was prepared six inches away from a cockroach the size of

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  • My Predictions for the 77th Primetime Emmys

    My Predictions for the 77th Primetime Emmys

    Every year, the Emmys give us an opportunity to reflect not just on the television that entertained us, but the television that defined the cultural conversation. Some shows break through because they’re technically brilliant. Others linger because they captured a mood or gave us characters we couldn’t stop talking about. This year, the ballots feel

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  • The Assassination of Charlie Kirk and the GOP’s Talent for Pouring Gasoline on a Fire They Started

    The Assassination of Charlie Kirk and the GOP’s Talent for Pouring Gasoline on a Fire They Started

    The Fox & Friends Grief Circus Charlie Kirk was assassinated on September 10 while speaking at Utah Valley University. A 22-year-old, Tyler James Robinson, is charged with aggravated murder, reportedly firing a bolt-action rifle from 200 yards away. Police say his own family identified him. The shell casings were allegedly etched with inflammatory messages, because

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  • SNL Says Goodbye to Ego Nwodim and Hello to the Eternal Lorne Michaels Hunger Games

    SNL Says Goodbye to Ego Nwodim and Hello to the Eternal Lorne Michaels Hunger Games

    Seven Years, One Exit Post, and a Cast in Perpetual Revolt Ego Nwodim did what every modern celebrity does when it’s time to move on: she opened Instagram, wrote “unforgettable” in italics, and announced she was leaving Saturday Night Live after seven seasons. Seven years of wigs, cue cards, and sketches that hit about as

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  • Charlie Kirk Assassination was a Travesty but Spare Us the Martyrdom

    Charlie Kirk Assassination was a Travesty but Spare Us the Martyrdom

    First, the only thing that should be easy to say I don’t condone political violence from anyone, toward anyone. A man was killed while speaking, a family lost their person, and that is a human tragedy before it is a headline. Full stop. It deserves grief, not grift. It deserves time to breathe, not instant

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  • Tom Hanks, the Wokest Man Alive: How America Lost Its War Against Niceness

    Tom Hanks, the Wokest Man Alive: How America Lost Its War Against Niceness

    Once upon a time, the biggest threat Tom Hanks posed to national security was making every American cry in unison. Whether storming Omaha Beach or talking to a volleyball, Hanks specialized in weaponized empathy. He was our cinematic dad, our comfort-food patriot, the guy who could make a two-and-a-half-hour movie about the postal service (The

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