Latest posts
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Jesus Chicken Does Autumn: Chick-fil-A’s New Fall Menu Drops Like a Leaf in a Storm of Selective Morality
Chick-fil-A, America’s favorite drive-thru confessional booth, has decided it’s time for sweater weather, PSL selfies, and the annual reminder that even God’s chosen poultry can rebrand when the leaves turn. This fall, they’ve unleashed a lineup so quaintly autumnal you’d almost forget their corporate tithe ledger still smells faintly of sanctified bigotry.
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House Always Wins, But the Players Are Leaving: Las Vegas Faces a Losing Streak
The neon still hums, the fountains still dance, and somewhere a drunk accountant from Omaha is still insisting that blackjack is “all about strategy.” On the surface, Las Vegas hasn’t changed. But beneath the flicker of LED desert opulence, the numbers are telling a story that the slot machines won’t: fewer people are coming. Vegas,…
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Back-to-School Essentials (Beyond the Basics): A Discoverable Listicle for the End of the World
The back-to-school season has transformed from nostalgic simplicity into a complex reality filled with heightened anxieties and survival needs. Essential items now reflect societal issues, from bulletproof backpacks to trauma-informed water bottles. Amidst the consumer frenzy, parents grapple with emotional burdens while hoping for their children’s safety and well-being in a precarious world.
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Move Over, The Notebook—My Boyfriend Moved to a Shithole For Me
Romeo drank poison for love.Jack froze to death in the North Atlantic.Allie gave up wealth and status for Noah’s sweaty carpentry chest. And Matthew?Matthew moved to Abilene, Texas. And that, dear reader, is what we call a real-ass love story. Let’s be honest—every great romance needs a setting.Pride and Prejudice had the English countryside.When Harry…
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The Baby Shower Had No Cake, But Everyone Showed Up: Elephants Remind Humanity What Community Actually Looks Like
Read more by Brandon Cloud Out on the African savanna this week, an elephant gave birth. No livestream.No gender reveal explosion.No toxic balloons released into the upper atmosphere to signal the biological inevitability of a mammal. Just a herd. Present. Unapologetically together. The newborn calf, somewhere between 200 and 260 pounds—about the weight of two…
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Will Smith Drops New Album, Slaps Us with Feelings (This Time, With Consent)
Let it be known: the Fresh Prince is back—but this time, he’s less “Parents Just Don’t Understand” and more “My Inner Child Just Called CPS.” Yes, after two decades of radio silence (and one globally televised moment that turned every Oscar afterparty into a group therapy session), Will Smith has returned to music with a…
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Mandy Moore’s Drive for Justice in a Hit-and-Run America
There’s a particular kind of poetic justice in watching the star of This Is Us become the accidental spokesperson for This Is You, Actually—on the Run, in a Late-Model SUV. Yes, Mandy Moore, once America’s sweetheart in a pastel prom dress and now everyone’s trauma doula in prime-time weepies, has taken to Instagram to do…