Latest posts
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We Believe in Second Helpings, Not Second Chances
The defining ritual of the American Thanksgiving is the gluttonous pivot. It is that precise, lubricated moment when the belt is loosened, the first plate is cleared, and a collective, national decision is made that excess is not a sin but a patriotic duty. We pile the mashed potatoes high enough to require zoning permits.
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The Politics of the Kids’ Table: A Survival Guide for the Holidays
The cranberry sauce is shaped like the can. The turkey is dry enough to be used as attic insulation. The tension in the room is vibrating at a frequency usually reserved for bomb disposal units or hostage negotiations. Welcome to Thanksgiving in America. We are gathered here today to worship at the altar of “Family
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The Great American Price Gouge: Why Your Grocery Bill Is a Corporate Ransom Note
The modern American experience is defined by a very specific, recurring moment of vertigo that occurs standing in the aisle of a fluorescent-lit grocery store. You are holding a box of cereal, a product made of corn dust and sugar that costs pennies to manufacture, and you are staring at a price tag that suggests
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The Art of the Un-Deal: How Trump’s “Secret” Plan to Save Obamacare Imploded Before the Teleprompter Was Loaded
The most defining characteristic of the second Trump administration is not its malevolence, nor its incompetence, but its profound and unending awkwardness. We are constantly forced to watch the political equivalent of a man trying to high-five someone who is actively tying their shoe. This dynamic reached a crescendo of cringe this week when the
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The Star-Spangled Bot Farm: How Elon Accidentally Doxxed the “America First” Foreign Legion
There is a specific kind of schadenfreude that tastes like champagne mixed with battery acid, and on November 20, 2025, the internet drank deep from the cup. For years, we have been told that the “silent majority” is rising, that the roar of the MAGA movement is the organic, thundering voice of the forgotten American
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The Bat-Signal for Partisan Hacks: Texas Begs Alito to Save the Gerrymander
The frantic energy currently radiating from the Texas Governor’s Mansion is not the result of a grid emergency or a sudden concern for the welfare of the state’s foster children. It is the specific, high-pitched frequency of political desperation. On November 20, the state’s leadership, spearheaded by Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton,
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The Broken Clock Finally Strikes Twelve: A Eulogy for the Marjorie Taylor Greene Era
It is a rare and disorienting experience to watch a arsonist suddenly grab a fire hose, but here we are. On November 21, 2025, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene—the woman who turned performative cruelty into a legislative brand strategy—announced her resignation from Congress. In a four-page statement and video that will likely be studied by future
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The Red Scare on Pennsylvania Avenue: Why Trump Thinks Fixing the Subway Is a Bolshevik Plot
The intellectual architecture of the modern American right wing is built on a foundation of very specific, load-bearing misunderstandings, but none is quite as structural as their inability to distinguish between a democratic socialist and a Soviet commissar. To Donald Trump and the ecosystem that orbits him, there is no difference between wanting to fund
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The Orange Elephant in the Room: Why Is Ghislaine Maxwell, the “Hoax,” Getting Room Service?
The political theater of the last week has been a masterclass in the art of the pivot. We watched the Trump administration spend months fighting the Epstein Files Transparency Act with the desperate energy of a man trying to hold a door shut against a rising flood. They called it a “Democrat hoax,” a distraction,
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Stream, Scream, or Starve: Why the Warner Bros. Fire Sale Is About to Double Your Bill and Kill Your News
The carcass of Warner Bros. Discovery is currently twitching on the auction block, and the sharks are circling with the dead-eyed precision of algorithms that have already decided your subscription price is too low. It is a scene of grim corporate inevitability, a garage sale of American culture where the items on offer are not