Latest posts
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Make MAGA Merch Great Again: Trump Sues Over Bootleg Bravado
In the latest crusade to restore dignity to the tarnished gold plating of American capitalism, the Trump Organization has boldly risen—not to address climate change, or rampant voter suppression, or the existential dread gripping the working class—but to defend its most sacred cause: the sanctity of fake red hats. Yes, dear patriots and profit-mongers, Amazon
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The Abs Are a Distraction: Biden’s Brain, Trump’s Everything, and the GOP’s Quest for a Mirror
If there’s one thing House Republicans care about, it’s fitness. Physical fitness. Mental fitness. Political fitness. Fitness to serve, fitness to lead, fitness to blink in time with the national anthem. And so, in a bold bipartisan act of historical concern, the GOP has launched a sweeping investigation into former President Joe Biden’s cognitive ability
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The Epstein Files, the Ghislaine Summit, and the Sudden Disappearance of Congress: A Whodunit with No Will to Know
It began, as these things often do, with a subpoena no one expected to be enforced. The House Oversight Subcommittee, waking briefly from its decades-long nap under a pile of lobbyist wine-and-dine receipts, voted to demand Department of Justice records related to the Jeffrey Epstein case. A bold move, considering most of Congress has treated
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Lone Star, Shady Lines: Texas GOP Dusts Off Crayons for Another Round of “Find the Democrat and Move Him”
If you thought gerrymandering was a once-per-decade tradition—like the census or Taylor Swift re-recordings—think again. Texas Republicans, fueled by barbecue, brazen ambition, and a deep-seated allergy to representative democracy, have decided to crack open the redistricting map early, because why wait for 2030 when you can tilt the scales right now? Welcome to mid-decade redistricting,
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Bill Maher Debates John Leguizamo About Immigration, Forgets Who Had an Actual Immigration Story
In the latest episode of “Bill Maher Gets Confused About Being Edgy,” the longtime contrarian invited actor, playwright, and walking cultural syllabus John Leguizamo onto his podcast to discuss immigration—because nothing screams ‘nuanced dialogue’ like a millionaire comedian sparring with a Latino icon over border policy. Spoiler: It went about as well as you’d expect
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Orange Is the New Accusation: Trump Accuses Obama of Treason, Nation Googles “Definition of Treason”
In today’s episode of “Projecting So Loudly You Can Hear It From Space,” former President Donald J. Trump has reportedly accused former President Barack Obama of treason—you know, that word we all learned in high school civics but never thought would be casually hurled like a dodgeball at the guy who won a Nobel Peace
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Opera, Trade, and Deportation Roulette: A Week in the Trump Administration That Somehow All Makes Sense
It’s hard to say what week we’re in—politically, cosmically, or narratively—but it’s clear the Trump administration is back on its greatest-hits tour. Only this time, the album’s scratched, the vocals are louder, and the backup dancers are Congressional interns filing ethics waivers. In just a few days, we’ve seen an opera house rebranded like a
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National Ice Cream Day: Because Nothing Says “Everything’s Fine” Like Dairy-Based Delusion
In the blistering heat of late-stage capitalism, where your rent costs more than your monthly trauma therapy and the planet’s basically one smoldering cone away from collapse, there comes a day so sweet, so saccharine, so unironically American that even the most disillusioned among us can’t help but say: “Fine. I’ll lick it.” Yes, darling—July
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Colbert’s Curtain Call: When the Laugh Track Gets Subpoenaed
Let’s get one thing straight: in 2025 America, free speech isn’t dead—it’s just nervously checking its follower count while Homeland Security reviews its late-night monologue. This week, CBS announced the “scheduling discontinuation” of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a decision about as subtle as a Fox News chyron at a drag brunch. While the
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Trump’s Legs Are Tired. America is Too.
In news that will shock absolutely no one who’s seen a senior citizen in a golf cart wearing three layers of bronzer and rage, Donald Trump has been diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (CVI)—which, to the medically uninitiated, translates roughly to: his veins are tired of the bullshit too.