Latest posts
-
Pete Hegseth Should Have Stuck With Fox News
When the chain of command becomes a group chat, the only thing securing the nation is the battery life of Pete Hegseth’s iPhone. The modern theatre of war is no longer a dimly lit room filled with cigarette smoke and maps pushed around by grim-faced men in uniform. It is not the hushed, sterile environment
-
Cabinet Meeting of the Living Dead: A Seventy-Two Hour Autopsy
When the President invents eighteen trillion dollars and then falls asleep, you know it’s Tuesday. The federal government has always been, at its core, a theater of the absurd, but the last seventy-two hours have transcended mere farce and entered the realm of avant-garde performance art. We just witnessed a Cabinet meeting that functioned less
-
The Canary Just Coughed Up Blood: Why a “Safe” Seat in Tennessee Is the GOP’s Chernobyl
When a twenty-two point lead shrinks to single digits, you don’t pop champagne; you check the foundation for termites. In the grandiose, self-mythologizing atlas of the Republican Party, Tennessee’s 7th Congressional District is supposed to be a fortress. It is drawn with the kind of jagged, protective geometry that ensures a generic conservative can sleepwalk
-
The MRI of Dorian Gray: A Medical Mystery Tour in the Age of Trump
We have reached the stage of the American presidency that can best be described as “Medical Gaslighting as Performance Art.” It is a genre of political theater where the lead actor is clearly limping, the makeup is applied with a trowel to hide the pallor, and the press office insists that the audience is hallucinating
-
The Board of Directors for Reality™: How Seven Men Bought the Sky and Sold Us the Weather
We operate under a shared and comforting delusion that the “public square” is a real place. We imagine it as a civic commons, a dusty but noble agora where ideas clash, truth eventually rises to the top like cream, and the collective will of the people is forged in the fires of debate. This is
-
The Remigration Proclamation: A Sermon from the Ministry of Purgation
On a day usually reserved for quiet reflection or ignoring the news cycle, Donald Trump decided to offer a benediction. He did not issue a bland statement about unity or national strength. Instead, he logged onto Truth Social and drafted what can only be described as a declaration of war against fifty-three million people, disguised
-
The Emperor Has No Stamina: How the “High Energy” Presidency Became a Part-Time Job
The defining myth of Donald Trump’s political existence has always been a biological impossibility. He sold us the idea that he was a genetic marvel, a man who required no sleep, subsisted on fast food, and possessed a battery life that defied the laws of thermodynamics. He mocked his opponents as “low energy,” “sleepy,” and
-
The Monolith Cracks: Why the “Buy Nvidia and Pray” Strategy Just Hit a Wall of Google Tensors
For the last eighteen months, the entire global financial system has effectively been a single, levered bet on Jensen Huang’s leather jacket. The investment thesis was simple enough for a Golden Retriever to execute: buy Nvidia, buy more Nvidia, and then buy calls on Nvidia. It was the “one true trade,” a monolithic belief that
-
The Economy Is Just Three AI Trench Coats in a Trench Coat: Why Your 401(k) Is Actually a Casino Bet on Chatbots
If you have glanced at a financial headline in 2025, you might be under the impression that the American economy is roaring like a lion. The S&P 500 is up more than 12 percent!1 The Nasdaq is printing money! Larry Kudlow is on Fox Business inventing words like “growthier” and “money-er” to describe the sheer,
-
The Star-Spangled Bot Farm: How Elon Accidentally Doxxed the “America First” Foreign Legion
There is a specific kind of schadenfreude that tastes like champagne mixed with battery acid, and on November 20, 2025, the internet drank deep from the cup. For years, we have been told that the “silent majority” is rising, that the roar of the MAGA movement is the organic, thundering voice of the forgotten American