Latest posts
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Gratitude in the Blast Zone: A Love Letter to Matthew, Chemo, Chihuahuas, and the Art of Not Dying in Texas
We are told to be thankful for the big things: health, family, the roof over our heads. But this year, in the twilight of 2025, I find myself offering a quiet, fervent prayer to Beyonce and Lady Gaga of gratitude for something far more specific, something that doesn’t fit neatly on a Hallmark card. I
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The Myth of the “Good Old Days”: A Thanksgiving Toast to the Eras That Tried to Erase Us
We gather here today, in the warm glow of incandescent bulbs and familial obligation, to perform the sacred ritual of forced gratitude. The table is set. The turkey is dry. The cranberry sauce retains the ridges of the can, a gelatinous monument to industrial efficiency. And around the perimeter, a collection of relatives—some beloved, some
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The FBI’s New Most Wanted List: People Who Can Read the Employee Handbook
There is a specific, grim absurdity to the moment when the premier law enforcement agency of the United States transforms into a customer service department for a presidential tantrum. On any given Tuesday, the FBI’s Counterterrorism Division is generally tasked with disrupting bomb plots, dismantling sleeper cells, and tracking violent extremists who wish to do
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Trump Wants His 1998 Back: Why ‘Rush Hour 4’ Is Now a Matter of National Security
We often tell ourselves that power is about nuclear codes, interest rates, and the invisible hand that moves aircraft carriers across the chessboard of the Pacific. But in the twilight of the American empire, power is apparently the ability to force a major Hollywood studio to greenlight a buddy cop sequel that nobody asked for
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The Secretary of War vs. The Astronaut: Why the Pentagon Is Court-Martialing a Senator for Reading the Manual
The transition from a democratic republic to a reality television autocracy is usually marked by a change in the stationery. In the case of the Department of Defense, the rebranding has been less about letterhead and more about a fundamental shift in the metaphysics of the building. Under the stewardship of Pete Hegseth, a man
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Legally Bland: How the Trump DOJ Tried to Cast Lindsey Halligan as a Prosecutor and Forgot to Read the Script
We have spent the last two decades treating the movie Legally Blonde as a lighthearted rom-com, but in the year 2025, it has revealed itself to be a prophetic warning about the dangers of underestimating a woman with a plan. The central thesis of that film, beneath the pink sequins and the scented résumé, was
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The Nuremberg Refresher Course: Why the “Seditious Six” Are the Only Ones Trying to Save the Troops from the Hague
The timeline of American decline has a specific, rhythmic quality to it now, like a drumbeat played by a toddler who found a loaded gun. On November 24, 2025, that rhythm accelerated into a frantic, terrified tempo when the Pentagon announced an “extraordinary misconduct probe” into Senator Mark Kelly. The crime of this retired Navy
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INVALID Paperwork of Tyranny: When the Revenge Tour Trips Over the Help Wanted Sign
The central tragedy of the modern authoritarian is that eventually, someone has to fill out a form. You can stand on a podium and scream about retribution until your voice gives out. You can promise to rain fire and fury on your enemies. You can draft lists of traitors and fantasize about televised tribunals. But
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The Ring Is in the Dishwasher, but the Marriage Is in the Sewer: Why Usha Vance Might Finally Be Tired of the MAGA Casting Call
There is a specific genre of political theater that plays out in the unspoken spaces of a marriage, a silent drama usually reserved for the frantic final act of a melodramatic screenplay. But recently, that drama has spilled out onto the campaign trail and into the glossy pages of People magazine, centering on the ring
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The Bat-Signal for Partisan Hacks: Texas Begs Alito to Save the Gerrymander
The frantic energy currently radiating from the Texas Governor’s Mansion is not the result of a grid emergency or a sudden concern for the welfare of the state’s foster children. It is the specific, high-pitched frequency of political desperation. On November 20, the state’s leadership, spearheaded by Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton,