Latest posts
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The Remigration Proclamation: A Sermon from the Ministry of Purgation
On a day usually reserved for quiet reflection or ignoring the news cycle, Donald Trump decided to offer a benediction. He did not issue a bland statement about unity or national strength. Instead, he logged onto Truth Social and drafted what can only be described as a declaration of war against fifty-three million people, disguised
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The Dictator’s Holiday Greeting Card: A Thanksgiving Message from the Ministry of Demigration
There is a specific, terrifying alchemy that happens when a political figure decides to combine the festive spirit of Thanksgiving with the rhetorical structure of a declaration of war. It is the moment when “Season’s Greetings” becomes a threat, and the turkey on the table is replaced by a policy proposal that reads like it
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The unauthorized History of the Home of the Brave: A Guide to 400 Years of squatter’s Rights
We like to tell ourselves a very specific story about the United States. It is a story printed on glossy brochures, recited by politicians with wet eyes, and taught to children before they are old enough to read the footnotes. It is the story of a “Nation of Immigrants,” a melting pot where the tired,
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The First Illegal Aliens Wore Buckle Shoes: A Thanksgiving Guide to Stolen Land and Hypocrisy
The truth is that America is a messy, violent, beautiful, hypocritical project. It is a country capable of profound generosity and staggering cruelty. We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants. We are a nation born of revolution that fears change. We are a nation of stolen land that is obsessed with property rights.
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The Great American Price Gouge: Why Your Grocery Bill Is a Corporate Ransom Note
The modern American experience is defined by a very specific, recurring moment of vertigo that occurs standing in the aisle of a fluorescent-lit grocery store. You are holding a box of cereal, a product made of corn dust and sugar that costs pennies to manufacture, and you are staring at a price tag that suggests
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Trump Wants His 1998 Back: Why ‘Rush Hour 4’ Is Now a Matter of National Security
We often tell ourselves that power is about nuclear codes, interest rates, and the invisible hand that moves aircraft carriers across the chessboard of the Pacific. But in the twilight of the American empire, power is apparently the ability to force a major Hollywood studio to greenlight a buddy cop sequel that nobody asked for
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Red Scare 8.0: How Idiots Still Don’t Understand The Difference Between Socialism and Communism
Why You Should Probably Google Words Before You Scream Them at Thanksgiving Dinner Welcome, patriots, comrades, and confused centrists. Grab a beverage—preferably one produced by a worker-owned cooperative or a ruthless multinational conglomerate, depending on your vibe—because we are about to embark on a journey. A journey into the heart of darkness. By “darkness,” I
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The Star-Spangled Bot Farm: How Elon Accidentally Doxxed the “America First” Foreign Legion
There is a specific kind of schadenfreude that tastes like champagne mixed with battery acid, and on November 20, 2025, the internet drank deep from the cup. For years, we have been told that the “silent majority” is rising, that the roar of the MAGA movement is the organic, thundering voice of the forgotten American
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The Black Box Breaks Open: Why OpenAI Can No longer Hide Behind the Magic Trick
For the last two years, OpenAI has not really been a technology company. It has been a theology. It operated on the collective faith that if we just fed enough money and electricity into the black box, a digital god would emerge to solve cancer, climate change, and the burden of writing email subject lines.
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Stream, Scream, or Starve: Why the Warner Bros. Fire Sale Is About to Double Your Bill and Kill Your News
The carcass of Warner Bros. Discovery is currently twitching on the auction block, and the sharks are circling with the dead-eyed precision of algorithms that have already decided your subscription price is too low. It is a scene of grim corporate inevitability, a garage sale of American culture where the items on offer are not