Latest posts
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The Pardon of King Bibi: How to Turn a Criminal Trial into a Coronation
The architecture of a modern democracy is usually designed with a few load-bearing walls intended to prevent the whole structure from collapsing into a authoritarian heap. One of those walls is the novel concept that the person running the country is subject to the same penal code as the person sweeping the floor. But in
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The Myth of the “Good Old Days”: A Thanksgiving Toast to the Eras That Tried to Erase Us
We gather here today, in the warm glow of incandescent bulbs and familial obligation, to perform the sacred ritual of forced gratitude. The table is set. The turkey is dry. The cranberry sauce retains the ridges of the can, a gelatinous monument to industrial efficiency. And around the perimeter, a collection of relatives—some beloved, some
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We Believe in Second Helpings, Not Second Chances
The defining ritual of the American Thanksgiving is the gluttonous pivot. It is that precise, lubricated moment when the belt is loosened, the first plate is cleared, and a collective, national decision is made that excess is not a sin but a patriotic duty. We pile the mashed potatoes high enough to require zoning permits.
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The Politics of the Kids’ Table: A Survival Guide for the Holidays
The cranberry sauce is shaped like the can. The turkey is dry enough to be used as attic insulation. The tension in the room is vibrating at a frequency usually reserved for bomb disposal units or hostage negotiations. Welcome to Thanksgiving in America. We are gathered here today to worship at the altar of “Family
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The First Illegal Aliens Wore Buckle Shoes: A Thanksgiving Guide to Stolen Land and Hypocrisy
The truth is that America is a messy, violent, beautiful, hypocritical project. It is a country capable of profound generosity and staggering cruelty. We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants. We are a nation born of revolution that fears change. We are a nation of stolen land that is obsessed with property rights.
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Red Scare 8.0: How Idiots Still Don’t Understand The Difference Between Socialism and Communism
Why You Should Probably Google Words Before You Scream Them at Thanksgiving Dinner Welcome, patriots, comrades, and confused centrists. Grab a beverage—preferably one produced by a worker-owned cooperative or a ruthless multinational conglomerate, depending on your vibe—because we are about to embark on a journey. A journey into the heart of darkness. By “darkness,” I
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No Good Deed and the Critics: Why ‘Wicked’ Is the Tragedy We Deserve
The lights went down in the theater, and for a brief moment, the collective anxiety of the world—the elections, the economy, the general sense that we are living in the final season of a poorly written reality show—suspended itself in the dark. I sat there with Matthew, my fiance and designated emotional anchor, and our
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The Black Box Breaks Open: Why OpenAI Can No longer Hide Behind the Magic Trick
For the last two years, OpenAI has not really been a technology company. It has been a theology. It operated on the collective faith that if we just fed enough money and electricity into the black box, a digital god would emerge to solve cancer, climate change, and the burden of writing email subject lines.
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Marjorie Taylor Greene: The Redemption Trap and the Rage Machine
So here is the question that refuses to be polite. Does everyone deserve a redemption arc. The storybook says yes. The sermon says forgiveness is a commandment. The friend you confided in after the worst year of your life says it depends. The criminal code says it is complicated. The internet says never. And the…
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Everything Since 2016 Was A Dream: The Writers’ Room Has Lost Control of the Plot
If the last decade were a TV series, even the interns would be begging the showrunners for a hard reboot before cancellation. There comes a time in every long running series when the writers lose all sense of proportion. When the storylines pile up like abandoned shopping carts, when characters behave like they have been