Latest posts

  • When You Fire the Weatherman, Don’t Act Surprised When the Sky Kills You

    When You Fire the Weatherman, Don’t Act Surprised When the Sky Kills You

    America loves a good disaster, as long as it happens far enough away to make for cinematic B-roll. The Bering Sea monster that shredded western Alaska this week—one part typhoon, one part apocalypse—checked all the right boxes: 100-mile-per-hour winds, a record storm surge, homes swallowed whole, hundreds displaced, one confirmed death, and a governor insisting

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  • Statehood for the States That Aren’t: A Hypothetical Love Letter to Democracy’s Participation Trophy

    Statehood for the States That Aren’t: A Hypothetical Love Letter to Democracy’s Participation Trophy

    There’s a certain kind of American optimism that only emerges when we start talking about statehood, the same bright-eyed, civics-class sparkle that insists representation is a moral right and not a political chess move. But let’s be honest—if every U.S. territory and D.C. were granted statehood tomorrow, the fireworks wouldn’t be about democracy fulfilled. They’d

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  • The GOP’s Youth Wing Texted Its Soul—and the Screenshots Are a Horror Film

    The GOP’s Youth Wing Texted Its Soul—and the Screenshots Are a Horror Film

    Once upon a time, “Young Republicans” conjured up an image of overeager poli-sci majors in red ties quoting Reagan and networking over light beer. You know, the overconfident debate-team archetype—annoying, yes, but largely harmless. Fast-forward to 2025, and Politico has dropped a leak that proves the next generation of GOP leadership is less “country club

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  • The Last WTF: Marc Maron, Barack Obama, and the Funeral for American Adulthood

    The Last WTF: Marc Maron, Barack Obama, and the Funeral for American Adulthood

    There’s a particular tone you can hear only in the voice of a man who has seen the apocalypse, accepted it, and still shows up for soundcheck. Marc Maron has been that voice for sixteen years—equal parts therapy session, post-mortem, and open-mic confession booth—and on October 13, 2025, he turned off the mic for good.

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  • Sugar High or Crash Diet? How Sorkin Says AI Is Fueling America’s Next Reboot: 1929 Stock Market Crash

    Sugar High or Crash Diet? How Sorkin Says AI Is Fueling America’s Next Reboot: 1929 Stock Market Crash

    You knew it would happen: someone on 60 Minutes lifting it all up, peering into the neon smog of 2025, and muttering, “I think it’s a bubble.” That someone was Andrew Ross Sorkin. As markets wobble after tariff threats, Sorkin told Lesley Stahl that today’s economy is being propped up by an AI sugar rush—hundreds

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  • Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies

    Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies

    Congratulations, America. We’ve finally done it. We’ve brought back a disease that modern medicine already defeated when bell-bottoms were still a gleam in disco’s eye. Somewhere, Jonas Salk is shaking his head in the afterlife, muttering, “I leave you people alone for sixty years and you start playing Oregon Trail again.” According to NPR, the

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  • Orwell Meets New Trump Reality: 2 + 2 = Whatever the Algorithm Says

    Orwell Meets New Trump Reality: 2 + 2 = Whatever the Algorithm Says

    Somewhere between your tenth doomscroll of the morning and your third attempt to remember which war we’re supposed to care about this week, PBS quietly aired the most important documentary of the decade — Raoul Peck’s Orwell: 2+2=5 — and almost no one noticed, because there wasn’t a trailer trending on TikTok. It’s a film

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  • Outbreak of the RFK Jr. and Russ Vought Virus: No CDC Employees Left To Treat It

    Outbreak of the RFK Jr. and Russ Vought Virus: No CDC Employees Left To Treat It

    If you ever needed proof that America has officially become a satire written by a malfunctioning chatbot, behold: the CDC accidentally fired itself during a government shutdown. Not metaphorically. Not “downsized for efficiency.” Literally—hundreds of our nation’s top epidemiologists, lab chiefs, and field investigators got layoff emails mid-pandemic prep because someone in Washington pressed “Send

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  • Glitter, Glam, and Grand Larceny: The Real Housewives of Insurance Fraud

    Glitter, Glam, and Grand Larceny: The Real Housewives of Insurance Fraud

    In what can only be described as a collaboration between Law & Order: SVU and Real Housewives of Potomac, NBC News reports that Dr. Wendy Osefo and her husband, Edward, have been arrested in Maryland for allegedly staging a home burglary to collect a fat insurance payout. Yes, you read that right. Another week, another

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  • The Great Halftime Faceplant: Turning Point USA Declares War on Bad Bunny (and Loses Before It Starts)

    The Great Halftime Faceplant: Turning Point USA Declares War on Bad Bunny (and Loses Before It Starts)

    The Super Bowl halftime show used to be about pyrotechnics, wardrobe malfunctions, and the occasional left shark dancing off-beat. Now it’s a referendum on whether America can tolerate hearing a language other than English for more than three minutes. Welcome to 2026, where Bad Bunny will headline the official NFL halftime show—and Turning Point USA,

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