Latest posts
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The Pardon of King Bibi: How to Turn a Criminal Trial into a Coronation
The architecture of a modern democracy is usually designed with a few load-bearing walls intended to prevent the whole structure from collapsing into a authoritarian heap. One of those walls is the novel concept that the person running the country is subject to the same penal code as the person sweeping the floor. But in
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The MRI of Dorian Gray: A Medical Mystery Tour in the Age of Trump
We have reached the stage of the American presidency that can best be described as “Medical Gaslighting as Performance Art.” It is a genre of political theater where the lead actor is clearly limping, the makeup is applied with a trowel to hide the pallor, and the press office insists that the audience is hallucinating
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The Kingpin’s Pardon: Why the War on Drugs Only Applies to People Without a Motorcade
The American capacity for cognitive dissonance is usually impressive. It is the engine that keeps the suburbs quiet and the stock market humming. But on November 28, 2025, President Donald Trump decided to test the structural integrity of that engine by pouring sugar, sand, and a few gallons of high-grade cocaine directly into the gas
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Gratitude in the Blast Zone: A Love Letter to Matthew, Chemo, Chihuahuas, and the Art of Not Dying in Texas
We are told to be thankful for the big things: health, family, the roof over our heads. But this year, in the twilight of 2025, I find myself offering a quiet, fervent prayer to Beyonce and Lady Gaga of gratitude for something far more specific, something that doesn’t fit neatly on a Hallmark card. I
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The Politics of the Kids’ Table: A Survival Guide for the Holidays
The cranberry sauce is shaped like the can. The turkey is dry enough to be used as attic insulation. The tension in the room is vibrating at a frequency usually reserved for bomb disposal units or hostage negotiations. Welcome to Thanksgiving in America. We are gathered here today to worship at the altar of “Family
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The Art of the Un-Deal: How Trump’s “Secret” Plan to Save Obamacare Imploded Before the Teleprompter Was Loaded
The most defining characteristic of the second Trump administration is not its malevolence, nor its incompetence, but its profound and unending awkwardness. We are constantly forced to watch the political equivalent of a man trying to high-five someone who is actively tying their shoe. This dynamic reached a crescendo of cringe this week when the
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Red Scare 8.0: How Idiots Still Don’t Understand The Difference Between Socialism and Communism
Why You Should Probably Google Words Before You Scream Them at Thanksgiving Dinner Welcome, patriots, comrades, and confused centrists. Grab a beverage—preferably one produced by a worker-owned cooperative or a ruthless multinational conglomerate, depending on your vibe—because we are about to embark on a journey. A journey into the heart of darkness. By “darkness,” I
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How Trump’s “Peace Plan” Turned Ukraine into a Real Estate Distressed Asset
The modern history of diplomacy is usually written in treaties, summits, and carefully worded communiqués hammered out by people who know the difference between a demilitarized zone and a zoning variance. But the history of the second Trump administration is being written in term sheets. On November 21, 2025, the world learned exactly what happens
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The Bartender Who Bought the Bar: Why AOC’s Senate Run Is the Chaos We Deserve
It has been seven years since a twenty-eight-year-old bartender from the Bronx looked at the decaying edifice of the Queens Democratic machine, ordered a seltzer, and then proceeded to bulldoze the entire building. We all remember the shock of 2018. We remember the “AOC phenomenon,” a phrase used by consultants to describe something they hoped
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No Good Deed and the Critics: Why ‘Wicked’ Is the Tragedy We Deserve
The lights went down in the theater, and for a brief moment, the collective anxiety of the world—the elections, the economy, the general sense that we are living in the final season of a poorly written reality show—suspended itself in the dark. I sat there with Matthew, my fiance and designated emotional anchor, and our