Latest posts
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The Pipe Bomber Was Just a Guy Named Brian: A Mystery Solved by the League of Extraordinary Grifters
It turns out the “Deep State” operative who planted bombs on January 5th wasn’t a spectral fed or a Antifa super-soldier. He was a guy from Virginia with a Nissan Sentra and a rewards card. We have reached the season finale of the great American conspiracy theory, and the writers have truly outdone themselves with
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The People v. The Vengeance Machine: A Comedy of Errors with a Body Count
When a grand jury decides to go off-script, the director throws a chair. The most dangerous sound in a democracy isn’t a gunshot or a siren. It’s the polite cough of a grand jury in Norfolk, Virginia, looking at a prosecutor and effectively saying, “Yeah, we’re not gonna do that.” This week, something almost folkloric
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The United States of Amnesia: Importing the European Nursing Home Model to Save the Snowflakes
When the goal is to turn a dynamic superpower into a gated community for the frightened, you end up importing the stagnation along with the prejudice. There is a specific kind of architectural madness currently gripping the West Wing, a design flaw in the blueprint of the new American century that would be laughable if
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Olivia Nuzzi’s American Canto: The Art of Selling a Scandal Without Actually Selling the Goods
When the memoir is less a reckoning and more a press release written in the font of a nervous breakdown. The collapse of a reputation in Washington usually follows a predictable physics. There is the initial transgression, followed by the frantic denial, the inevitable leak of digital receipts, the forced resignation, and finally the exile
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Zuckerberg Poaches Apple’s Alan Dye to Teach the Metaverse How to Feel (Or At Least How to Fake It)
The biggest transfer in tech isn’t about hardware. It is about Mark Zuckerberg paying top dollar for the one thing he can’t code: vibes. The announcement video looked less like a corporate hiring update and more like the trailer for a film about a brooding architect who accidentally invents a soul. There was Mark Zuckerberg,
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Operation Catahoula Crunch: The Department of Homeland Security Brings Holiday Fear to the Big Easy
When the “Big Easy” becomes the “Big Empty,” you know the circus has come to town, but this time the parade floats are unmarked vans and the beads are handcuffs. The sun rose over New Orleans this morning to a parade nobody ordered. Usually, when vehicles crawl through these streets at a walking pace, there
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The Real Housewives of the House Republican Conference: A Play in Three Acts of Self-Destruction
If you want to understand the current state of the Republican Party, do not look at their policy papers. Do not listen to their speeches about fiscal discipline or the sanctity of the border. Instead, imagine a community theater production of Julius Caesar directed by a substitute teacher who has lost control of the classroom,
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Cabinet Meeting of the Living Dead: A Seventy-Two Hour Autopsy
When the President invents eighteen trillion dollars and then falls asleep, you know it’s Tuesday. The federal government has always been, at its core, a theater of the absurd, but the last seventy-two hours have transcended mere farce and entered the realm of avant-garde performance art. We just witnessed a Cabinet meeting that functioned less
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The United States of Racketeering: Governing by the Code of the Hitman
When the Situation Room becomes a mob social club, the only difference between a war crime and a pardon is who you know. The water in the Caribbean is warm, blue, and apparently lawless. If you look closely enough at the recent reports coming out of the Pentagon, you can see the stain spreading. It
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The Red Fortress Leak: Why a Tennessee “Squeaker” Is the GOP’s Worst Nightmare
When a twenty-point lead evaporates into the margin of error, it is no longer an election but a structural stress test for a party running on fumes. In the sanitized, color-coded maps of American political strategy, certain districts are not supposed to be battlegrounds. They are supposed to be fiefdoms. They are the deep-red bastions