Latest posts
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Therapy Speak, But Make It Texan
Setting boundaries, y’all. With a side of queso. Welcome to the dusty crossroads of emotional healing and Southern hospitality, where therapy-speak gets run through a wood chipper of “Well, sugar, we don’t talk about that at the dinner table” and comes out the other side wrapped in a casserole dish. If you’ve ever tried to
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Johnny Depp: Hollywood’s First-Ever Crash Test Dummy for Accountability
Move over Rosa Parks. Step aside Joan of Arc. According to a recent interview with The Times, Johnny Depp—yes, that Johnny Depp—has declared himself the official crash test dummy for the #MeToo movement.
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I’m Skeptical of Anyone Who Tells Me Not to Take Candy from Strangers, Then Takes Me Trick or Treating
Trust issues don’t start in adulthood. They start when your mom tells you never to talk to strangers, then zips you into a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur suit and sends you door to door demanding chocolate from people you’ve never met, some of whom are literally wearing masks. “Don’t accept candy from strangers” she says on Tuesday.
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The Silent War: My Battle Against Unsolicited Advice (and How I Mostly Lose)
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re the kind of person who starts sentences with “You know what you should do?” — please know I’m already plotting my escape. Politely. Silently. With a smile so tight it could slice through granite. Unsolicited advice is the glitter of social interaction. It shows
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The Price of Doing the Right Thing: A Life-Long Scarlet Letter for Telling the Truth
I’m not a thief. I’m not a bad person. I’m not perfect either, and I’ve made my share of mistakes. But I have always tried to live with integrity. I’ve chosen honesty over convenience, truth over spin, even when it wasn’t the easy road. I’ve gone without food before asking someone for help. When I
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Bomb, Boast, Blame: Trump’s Favorite Wartime Tradition Is Turning on His Own
You can always tell a Trump presidency is back in full swing when he drops bombs one day and burns bridges the next. After launching a surprise airstrike on Iranian nuclear facilities—without Congressional approval and with all the subtlety of a toddler with a matchbook—Trump took a victory lap so wide it flattened anyone who
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Now That’s What I Call Woke, Vol. 1.
We live in an era where everything’s being rebooted—movies, sitcoms, even cultural expectations. So why not do the same for music? Specifically, classic song lyrics. Because let’s be honest: some of these tunes didn’t age like fine wine. They aged like milk left in a hot car while catcalling a woman on her lunch break.
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Bill Clinton endorses Andrew Cuomo by saying “You. You get me,” and it’s as awkward as it sounds.
Bill Clinton Looked at Andrew Cuomo and Said, “You. You Get Me.” Somewhere between sipping Diet Dr. Pepper and scrolling the headlines, I stumbled across it: Bill Clinton has officially endorsed Andrew Cuomo for mayor of New York City. At first, I laughed, assuming it was a parody post — like The Onion had merged
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Operation Midnight Hammer, Grindr username or military operation, and a President Who Skipped Congress
I’m fairly certain I chatted on Grindr with a guy named “Midnight Hammer,” before I met Matthew. We never met, but the username stuck with me. So imagine my surprise when I woke up to the news that Operation Midnight Hammer was the official name of the U.S. bombing campaign that just leveled multiple Iranian
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Strait Outta Options: Iran Votes to Shut Down the Strait of Hormuz, Trump Shuts Down Logic, and We’re All Just Along for the Ride
It’s Sunday, June 22, 2025. While half the country is at church pretending they didn’t black out at Applebee’s karaoke last night, I’m sitting here sipping my third Diet Dr. Pepper of the morning and trying to emotionally process the fact that the Strait of Hormuz will be closed and we’re apparently doing Iran War,