Latest posts
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July’s Over. Thank You, Everyone: 7,174 Books Sold, 64 Titles Published, and One Heart About to Burst
In July, I sold 7,174 books across 64 titles—my first full month of self-publishing after years of silence and shelved manuscripts. From memoir to romance to horror, you showed up. Thank you. Every read, share, and review keeps this dream alive.
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Kamala Harris Declines to Govern: California Weeps, 2028 Holds Its Breath
In a week already saturated with bloated indictments, poorly aged tweets, and men with microphones saying “I miss when politics was normal,” Kamala Harris made the most powerful move in modern politics: saying no. She will not run for governor of California. Not because she can’t. Not because she’s lost the thread. But because she’s
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The Naked Gun Premiere Stuns Nation: Critics Describe Experience as ‘Emotionally Immature,’ ‘Deeply Healing,’ and ‘Unfit for the Literate’
It was a night to remember—if, that is, your brain had been recently concussed by a whiffle bat and lubricated with the comedic sophistication of a whoopee cushion. The red carpet was laid, the stars were out, and the nation’s dignity was carefully packed into a burlap sack and hurled down a fire escape. Yes,
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We All Live in a TikTok Now: How Pop Culture in 2025 Became an Algorithm Wearing Lip Gloss
Pop culture used to be a mirror. It reflected us—warped, stylized, a little hungover—but recognizable. Now it’s more like a funhouse trapdoor. You open Instagram to check your ex’s vacation photos and fall face-first into a sped-up Olivia Rodrigo remix choreographed by six 19-year-olds in matching depression hoodies. Somewhere, a Marvel spinoff trailer auto-plays. Somewhere
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Finally, Equal Rights to Cringe: “I Kissed A Boy” Puts Gays Where They Belong—on Trashy Dating Shows
So it’s finally happened. The gays have a dating show. Not a makeover show. Not a trauma documentary. Not another sob-stained coming out arc framed by string lights and tearful piano music. An actual, honest-to-God dating show. And not just any dating show—a trashy, sun-drenched, kissing-at-hello reality dating show with barely clothed men, confessionals, and
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Business as Usual: A Two-Shooter Monday in the Land of the Free
There’s a uniquely American efficiency to how we process mass shootings. As if the country were run by a bureaucratic vending machine that now just spits out blood instead of soda. Insert thoughts. Receive prayers. Try again tomorrow. Today’s patriotic performance art featured not one but two active shooter incidents. First, the Grand Sierra Resort
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Budget Balanced, Children Buried: Austerity’s Most Efficient Program Yet
This week, the free market claimed another quiet victory as reports emerged that 652 Nigerian children have died of malnutrition—an achievement brought to you by the miracle of international funding cuts and the global community’s ongoing commitment to staring directly into a fire and commenting on the smoke. Doctors Without Borders, the organization still laboring
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Windmills, Whales, and Wounded Pride: The Trump Doctrine on Aid and Applause
In a recent outburst that sounded suspiciously like a Mad Libs page read through a bullhorn, former President Donald J. Trump launched into a diatribe connecting three unrelated but emotionally charged topics: windmills, whales, and a personal grievance that Gaza never thanked him for humanitarian aid. You know, the classics. At a rally that felt
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The Abs Are a Distraction: Biden’s Brain, Trump’s Everything, and the GOP’s Quest for a Mirror
If there’s one thing House Republicans care about, it’s fitness. Physical fitness. Mental fitness. Political fitness. Fitness to serve, fitness to lead, fitness to blink in time with the national anthem. And so, in a bold bipartisan act of historical concern, the GOP has launched a sweeping investigation into former President Joe Biden’s cognitive ability
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The Second Term’s the Charm: Trump, DEI, and Other Performance Art Pieces from a Government in Reflux
The Trump administration’s second act has arrived—unseasoned, unfiltered, and flush with the confidence of a man who thinks The Art of the Deal is still in print. What began as a 2016 fever dream has curdled into a 2025 reality show reboot: America’s Next Top Autocrat. Naturally, there’s been some turbulence. The president, emboldened by