Latest posts
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RFK Jr. Just Cut $500 Million in mRNA Vaccine Contracts. Because Science Is a Vibe Now.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has announced plans to cut $500 million in mRNA vaccine contracts, showcasing a shift towards skepticism and populism over scientific progress. His actions signify a broader trend of undermining public health infrastructure, promoting conspiracy, and cultivating distrust in science, potentially jeopardizing future disease response and preventive measures.
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President Trump Wants a Task Force for the LA Olympics. I Assume It Will Wear Matching Windbreakers.
Nothing says “we’ve learned nothing from history” quite like handing Donald J. Trump executive oversight of an international sporting event. The man who once tried to host a G7 summit at his own golf resort is now assembling a task force to oversee the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics. Because nothing inspires global trust like the
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Move Over, The Notebook—My Boyfriend Moved to a Shithole For Me
Romeo drank poison for love.Jack froze to death in the North Atlantic.Allie gave up wealth and status for Noah’s sweaty carpentry chest. And Matthew?Matthew moved to Abilene, Texas. And that, dear reader, is what we call a real-ass love story. Let’s be honest—every great romance needs a setting.Pride and Prejudice had the English countryside.When Harry
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The Primary Buffet: Democrats Prepare to Feed Themselves to Democracy (Again)
The 2028 Democratic primary isn’t officially underway, but if you lean in closely, you can already hear the clinking of silverware at the self-cannibalism buffet. A dozen forks, half a platform, and the unshakeable belief that this will be the year a candidate emerges who is both inspiring and electable, progressive and pragmatic, fierce but…
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Lines in the Sand: How Redistricting Became the Supreme Court’s Favorite Shape-Shiting Weapon
It’s once again that magical time in America when maps are less about geography and more about strategy—where lines aren’t drawn by cartographers but by career politicians with a vengeance kink. This month, the Supreme Court decided to up the ante in Louisiana’s redistricting case, because apparently we haven’t suffered enough slow-moving constitutional erosion for
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You’re Fired: Trump Finds the Real Culprit Behind America’s Job Woes (Hint: It’s Not Capitalism)
In a surprising twist that shocked absolutely no one, former President Donald J. Trump has once again taken bold, decisive, and entirely unhinged action against the greatest threat to American prosperity: math. Specifically, the kind of math that results in job reports that make him look bad. Following a “disappointing” economic update, which revealed that
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Cry Me a Tick: Justin Timberlake’s Most Relatable Era Yet
Somewhere between Man of the Woods and Trolls World Tour, the universe whispered, “Bring him to his knees.” And nature—ever the vengeful minimalist—delivered not through scandal or cancellation, but with something far subtler: a tick. Yes, in news that reads like a Mad Lib written by Gwyneth Paltrow’s holistic healer, Justin Timberlake has revealed he’s
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The Gilded Ceiling: When Diplomacy Gets a Dance Floor Upgrade
It was the kind of announcement that arrived with all the subtlety of a gold-plated wrecking ball: Former President Donald Trump, against the backdrop of campaign chants and crystal chandeliers, declared that the White House—America’s most sacred secular shrine—will soon be getting a 90,000-square-foot ballroom. Because apparently, what the executive branch lacked most wasn’t decorum,
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Bite Marks Don’t Heal Right: Griefcore with Fangs and the Dangerous Act of Staying
Two men: one immortal, one terminal. Neither knows how to stay. Bite Marks Don’t Heal Right is a haunting queer love story about choosing someone, even when time is running out. No melodrama. Just blood, silence, and the kind of intimacy that bruises where no one can see.