Latest posts
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Windmills, Whales, and Wounded Pride: The Trump Doctrine on Aid and Applause
In a recent outburst that sounded suspiciously like a Mad Libs page read through a bullhorn, former President Donald J. Trump launched into a diatribe connecting three unrelated but emotionally charged topics: windmills, whales, and a personal grievance that Gaza never thanked him for humanitarian aid. You know, the classics. At a rally that felt
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The Future of Work Is Bleak, Unregulated, and Happily Branded as “Freedom”
Welcome to 2025, where the American Dream has been converted into a 1099 form and a Slack notification. The office is dead, the commute is optional, and your job description now includes “personal brand ambassador” and “self-motivated hope archaeologist.” Let’s talk about the “future of work,” shall we? A phrase that once conjured images of
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The Bongino Doctrine: How to Reform the FBI with a Podcast Mic and a Megaphone
Some men are born for public service. Others have it thrust upon them. And then there’s Daniel Bongino—who appears to have podcasted his way into federal law enforcement leadership with the energy of a man who once read the Constitution off a T-shirt at a gun show. Yes, dear readers, Deputy Director Bongino has officially
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The Second Term’s the Charm: Trump, DEI, and Other Performance Art Pieces from a Government in Reflux
The Trump administration’s second act has arrived—unseasoned, unfiltered, and flush with the confidence of a man who thinks The Art of the Deal is still in print. What began as a 2016 fever dream has curdled into a 2025 reality show reboot: America’s Next Top Autocrat. Naturally, there’s been some turbulence. The president, emboldened by
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When Random Stops Feeling Rare: What Another Walmart Tragedy Reveals About Us
There’s a point in any crisis-saturated society where the words stop hitting. “Man stabs 11 people at Michigan Walmart. Six in critical condition.” You read it. You blink. You scroll. It’s not that we don’t care—it’s that we can’t process it anymore. The shock we’re supposed to feel has calcified into something else. A dull
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The Ghislaine Games: Now Streaming on the Delusion Network
Ghislaine Maxwell, former jet-set socialite turned convicted sex trafficker turned “spiritual wellness enthusiast” (her words, allegedly), has now completed her two-day interview with Justice Department officials. That’s right—two whole days to unload the receipts of a multi-decade global child trafficking ring. Either she talks faster than Gilmore Girls on cocaine, or someone left half the
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Lock Her Up (But Poor This Time): America Rediscovers Its Favorite Chant—Now with Fewer Mar-a-Lagos
At long last, America’s most beloved political rally cry has returned—not for Hillary, not for Hunter, but for Hannah under the freeway overpass. Yes, “Lock Her Up” has been dusted off, polished, and rebranded for a new demographic: the unhoused. And it’s all thanks to the latest Trump executive order, which proposes the forcible hospitalization
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Columbia University Sells Its Soul for $200 Million and a Patriotic Pat on the Head
Columbia University has officially agreed to a $200 million settlement that can only be described as “academic integrity, but make it negotiable.” After a long standoff with the federal government over funding cuts tied to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) programs, the Ivy League institution has agreed to restore funding—in exchange for agreeing to follow
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He Asked About Headlights. He Got a Concussion. Welcome to Traffic Enforcement, 2025.
Some people get pulled over and drive away with a warning. Others ask, “Why do I need my headlights on in daylight?” and end up with a shattered window and a fist in the face. In Jacksonville, Florida—where the humidity is thick and the patience for questions is thin—22-year-old William McNeil Jr. learned the hard
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Murder, He Mumbled: Bryan Kohberger Gets Life Without Parole While America Gets Another True Crime Spectacle
Well, justice has been served—lukewarm, over-syndicated, and with a familiar aftertaste of televised grief. Bryan Kohberger, the man who believed criminology was a personality type, has officially been sentenced to life without parole for the brutal murders of four Idaho college students. And somewhere in America, a Netflix producer just got a second wind. The