Latest posts
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The Gilded Ceiling: When Diplomacy Gets a Dance Floor Upgrade
It was the kind of announcement that arrived with all the subtlety of a gold-plated wrecking ball: Former President Donald Trump, against the backdrop of campaign chants and crystal chandeliers, declared that the White House—America’s most sacred secular shrine—will soon be getting a 90,000-square-foot ballroom. Because apparently, what the executive branch lacked most wasn’t decorum,
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Make MAGA Merch Great Again: Trump Sues Over Bootleg Bravado
In the latest crusade to restore dignity to the tarnished gold plating of American capitalism, the Trump Organization has boldly risen—not to address climate change, or rampant voter suppression, or the existential dread gripping the working class—but to defend its most sacred cause: the sanctity of fake red hats. Yes, dear patriots and profit-mongers, Amazon
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From Lapdog to Lapel Pin: Trump Finds His Spine Somewhere Between Golf Holes and Polling Numbers
Let the historians mark the date: Donald J. Trump—formerly known as Vladimir Putin’s American pet project, emotional support cheerleader, and part-time Moscow mannequin—has apparently developed a taste for diplomacy with teeth. This week, the ex-president and likely 2024 nominee took a brief intermission from threatening NATO, throwing cheeseburgers at campaign staff, and offering to “fix”
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Business as Usual: A Two-Shooter Monday in the Land of the Free
There’s a uniquely American efficiency to how we process mass shootings. As if the country were run by a bureaucratic vending machine that now just spits out blood instead of soda. Insert thoughts. Receive prayers. Try again tomorrow. Today’s patriotic performance art featured not one but two active shooter incidents. First, the Grand Sierra Resort
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Holy Paperclips, Luxury Jets, and Surprise Deadlines: Inside the Trump Administration’s Month of Multitasking
In a dizzying flurry of executive motion and moral multitasking, President Donald J. Trump has once again reminded us that governing is not about consistency, coherence, or consequences—it’s about volume. And the 2025 Trump administration has been operating at maximum decibel. From peace ultimatums issued like fast food orders to religious paperweights, Hurricane Helene bailouts,
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Let Them Eat Optics: Gaza Starves While World Leaders Host a Photo Op
In a powerful show of concern, several world leaders have finally taken a bold, unified stand against the most dangerous enemy in the Gaza conflict: bad press. After months of airstrikes, blockades, and performative diplomacy, President Donald J. Trump emerged from his golf cart to announce that yes—“real starvation” is happening in Gaza, and yes—it
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Windmills, Whales, and Wounded Pride: The Trump Doctrine on Aid and Applause
In a recent outburst that sounded suspiciously like a Mad Libs page read through a bullhorn, former President Donald J. Trump launched into a diatribe connecting three unrelated but emotionally charged topics: windmills, whales, and a personal grievance that Gaza never thanked him for humanitarian aid. You know, the classics. At a rally that felt
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The Future of Work Is Bleak, Unregulated, and Happily Branded as “Freedom”
Welcome to 2025, where the American Dream has been converted into a 1099 form and a Slack notification. The office is dead, the commute is optional, and your job description now includes “personal brand ambassador” and “self-motivated hope archaeologist.” Let’s talk about the “future of work,” shall we? A phrase that once conjured images of
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The Bongino Doctrine: How to Reform the FBI with a Podcast Mic and a Megaphone
Some men are born for public service. Others have it thrust upon them. And then there’s Daniel Bongino—who appears to have podcasted his way into federal law enforcement leadership with the energy of a man who once read the Constitution off a T-shirt at a gun show. Yes, dear readers, Deputy Director Bongino has officially