Latest posts
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The Diplomatic Ghosting Olympics: Putin, Zelenskyy, and Trump’s Imaginary Seating Chart
Ah, yes. Another day in the ever-expanding telenovela that is Trump-era diplomacy—though “diplomacy” is generous, given that what we’re watching looks more like a middle school cafeteria where the kid with a lunchable (Putin) refuses to sit with the kid holding an expired free milk ticket (Zelenskyy), and the loud orange hall monitor (Trump) insists
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Goodbye Clearances, Hello Creamed Corn: Gabbard’s Security-Purge Reality Show
What happened today? Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard announced she’s revoking security clearances for 37 current and former “intelligence professionals,” alleging they “politicized and manipulated intelligence.” She insisted the move was made at President Trump’s direction. Let’s unpack this with surgical precision—because this isn’t a policy shift. This is the messy performance art of
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Peacock, Plucked but Proud: Why I’ll Follow MSNBC Anywhere (Even Into MS NOW)
The news broke: MSNBC is cutting ties with NBC’s Peacock, shedding the feathers, and rebirthing itself as MS NOW. And while some people are clutching pearls over the rebrand, I have one thing to say: take my Peacock, take my vowels, take whatever you want—just don’t take Rachel Maddow’s monologues away from me. This is
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Pregnant Robots & Patriarchy: China’s Pregnancy Bot and the Future We Didn’t Choose
Imagine a world where babies aren’t born from mothers but delivered by robots—in a literal tin womb. Welcome to 2026, Chinese-style, where scientists at Kaiwa Technology promise to debut the world’s first humanoid “pregnancy robot,” complete with an artificial womb embedded in its abdomen. It’s billed as a technological marvel for struggling parents—but if that
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The Art of the Photo-Op: Trump, Zelenskyy, and the Global Summit That Was Basically a Calendar Invite
Today in Washington, history was made. Not the good kind, not the kind they etch in marble or even scribble in textbooks. No, today was the kind of history where Donald Trump hosts Volodymyr Zelenskyy and a rotating cast of European leaders at the White House, declares it “a very good early step,” and then
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Pompoms, Politics, and the Fragile Masculinity of the 50-Yard Line: On the NFL’s Male Cheerleader Panic
It’s 2025, and the NFL has finally decided that maybe, just maybe, a man in sequins yelling “Defense!” won’t unravel the fabric of Western civilization. Twelve teams—including the Vikings and Patriots—are adding male cheerleaders to their squads this season. A gesture toward gender equality, sure, but also, apparently, a trigger for every uncle in America
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When Democracy Gets a Make-over: Trump’s Executive Order to Cancel Voting
At long last, the White House has announced a new wellness initiative: an executive order banning mail‑in and electronic voting ahead of the 2026 midterms. Why? Because our hero (in designer suits) says elections are haunted by “massive fraud”—without evidence, but with extra flourish. He’s calling it the “MAIL‑IN BALLOT HOAX” and wants us back
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Weapons, Freakier Fridays, and the Death Rattle of Sydney Sweeney’s Americana
The box office has once again delivered its weekend sermon, and America, faithful parishioner that it is, dutifully attended services with popcorn in hand. We were given horror, we were given nostalgia, we were given Bob Odenkirk with bruised knuckles, and—because capitalism cannot function without a sacrificial lamb—we were given Sydney Sweeney’s Americana quietly smothered
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The Comedy Coup: South Park, Trump, and the Paramount Problem
America has always needed its court jesters. Kings and presidents come and go, ruling with pomp, paranoia, and paranoia dressed up as policy. But the jester—the clown with a knife behind the punchline—never leaves. In 2025, that jester wears a Colorado beanie, carries a construction paper sign, and is contractually obligated to Paramount+ for $1.5
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Netflix Giveth, Netflix Taketh Away: A Funeral March for the Shows We Loved
The streaming economy is nothing if not biblical: seven years of plenty, seven years of famine, seven executives screaming “cut costs!” while canceling your comfort show. And so, on August 17, Netflix opened the velvet curtain to reveal the latest mass grave of content. FUBAR? Dead. The Residence? Evicted. Pulse? Flatline. The Recruit? Dishonorably discharged.