Latest posts

  • Artillery Over the 405: America’s Longest Traffic Jam Turns Into a Military Parade

    Artillery Over the 405: America’s Longest Traffic Jam Turns Into a Military Parade

    There’s something quintessentially American about the sight of artillery fire streaking across a highway full of Teslas. It’s not just the juxtaposition of power and paralysis, of steel ambition and rubberized helplessness—it’s that we managed to turn an interstate into a battlefield metaphor without even noticing. On October 18, 2025, California drivers got front-row seats

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  • The Church of Selective Justice: Saint George of Santos and the Gospel of Trumpian Mercy

    The Church of Selective Justice: Saint George of Santos and the Gospel of Trumpian Mercy

    There are miracles, and then there are Trump-era miracles — the kind that make you question if God outsourced justice to a reality show producer. George Santos, the man who lied about everything from his résumé to his existence as a mammal capable of shame, just walked out of federal prison after less than three

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  • The Hatch Act: The Law That Everyone Violates and No One Enforces

    The Hatch Act: The Law That Everyone Violates and No One Enforces

    Somewhere in the dusty filing cabinets of American democracy, beneath the “Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law” mattress tags and the ghost of civics classes past, lies the Hatch Act. Passed in 1939, it was meant to be the firewall between government work and campaign work. The promise was simple: no mixing taxpayer business

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  • Shutdown Theater: When Trump Decided the Government Works Better Without Workers

    Shutdown Theater: When Trump Decided the Government Works Better Without Workers

    It takes a special kind of government to run a shutdown like a start-up.A federal judge just told the Trump administration—again—that firing thousands of workers in the middle of a shutdown isn’t “streamlining.” It’s illegal. But if you squint hard enough and forget about laws, ethics, and human beings, you can almost admire the logic.

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  • The Young Republicans Just Invented “Accountability Theater,” and the Curtain’s Already Falling

    The Young Republicans Just Invented “Accountability Theater,” and the Curtain’s Already Falling

    For decades, the Republican Party has reassured America that its future is in good hands—steady, business-casual hands wrapped around a Bud Light and a copy of Atlas Shrugged. Then came the RESTOREYR WAR ROOM leak, 2,900 pages of digital sewage proving that the future of the GOP is, in fact, a racist group chat with

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  • No Kings Day: America’s Most Patriotic Middle Finger

    No Kings Day: America’s Most Patriotic Middle Finger

    The founders would have loved this. Not the powdered wig cosplay or the “Don’t Tread on Me” truck decals that confuse tyranny with speed limits—but the idea that millions of Americans could, in 2025, look at a would-be monarch and collectively say: nope. This October 18, No Kings Day returns. And if June was the

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  • The Land Of The Free-Fire Zone: AMERICA’S NEW FEDERAL STREET THEATER

    The Land Of The Free-Fire Zone: AMERICA’S NEW FEDERAL STREET THEATER

    If the original American dream was that you could own a home, plant a tree, and not get gassed by your own government on a weeknight, that fantasy met its final act this month in the East Side of Chicago. A red SUV, a white SUV, a handful of agents playing Fast & Furious: Sanctuary

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  • The Pentagon Has Entered Its “No Reporters, Please” Era

    The Pentagon Has Entered Its “No Reporters, Please” Era

    The building that invented acronyms, leaks, and irony has decided it’s allergic to all three. According to CNN’s media desk, the Pentagon under Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has rolled out sweeping new restrictions that would make even the Kremlin’s press office blush. The new “access pledge” requires journalists to sign away their ability to do

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  • Russia Doesn’t Find Tomahawks Amus: Trump’s War of Revelation

    Russia Doesn’t Find Tomahawks Amus: Trump’s War of Revelation

    It begins, as all global crises now do, with a push notification and an open microphone. President Donald Trump, standing at a White House podium flanked by flags and self-importance, threatened to send Tomahawk missiles to Ukraine unless Vladimir Putin “ended the invasion immediately.” In Trump’s world, diplomacy is performance art—equal parts bluster, bluff, and

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  • Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies

    Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies

    Congratulations, America. We’ve finally done it. We’ve brought back a disease that modern medicine already defeated when bell-bottoms were still a gleam in disco’s eye. Somewhere, Jonas Salk is shaking his head in the afterlife, muttering, “I leave you people alone for sixty years and you start playing Oregon Trail again.” According to NPR, the

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