Latest posts
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The Hunt for Red October, But Stupid: How a Lying Tanker Became the Star of the Trump’s New Action Franchise
The scene was practically storyboarded for a campaign ad before the first rotor blade chopped the Caribbean air. It had the granular, high-definition aesthetic of a Michael Bay movie that went straight to streaming, complete with the requisite color grading that makes the ocean look dangerously teal and the American military hardware look like the
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The Freedom to Go Broke: Republicans Unveil Their Plan to Liberate You From Affordable Healthcare
The GOP has finally found a solution to the problem of people having health insurance. It involves taking the money away and giving you a coupon for a savings account you cannot afford to fund. There is a specific kind of grim comedy that defines American healthcare policy. It is the comedy of a man
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Trump Affordability Hoax: Welcome to the Carnival of Economic Gaslighting Where the Cotton Candy Costs a Mortgage
When the President tells you the price of eggs is down, but your receipt says you just took out a second mortgage for an omelet, you are living in the Golden Age of the Grift. On Tuesday night, the traveling circus of the forty-seventh presidency descended upon Mount Pocono, Pennsylvania, bringing with it the familiar
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The Art of the Foreclosure: How the Trump Peace Plan Turned Sovereignty Into a Distressed Asset
We are watching the privatization of geopolitics, where nations are not conquered but liquidated for pennies on the dollar. It was inevitable that the end of the post-war international order would not arrive with a bang or a whimper, but with the slap of a leather portfolio on a mahogany table. The portfolio in question
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The Great AI Garage Sale: Why We Are Selling Our Brains to China for Store Credit
The United States has decided that the best way to win the arms race of the twenty-first century is to act as the premium supplier for the opposing team. If you have been paying attention to the frantic, breathless security briefings coming out of Washington for the last three years, you know the script. We
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Jasmine Crockett for Senate: The Only Socialist in Texas is the Guy Writing Checks to Elon Musk
They are going to call Jasmine Crockett a socialist.1 Of course they are. In the modern Republican lexicon, “socialist” is just a synonym for “person I am afraid of,” and right now, there is nobody the Texas GOP fears more than the Congresswoman from Dallas who treats a committee hearing like a cross-examination and a
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How Donald Trump Turned the Kennedy Center Honors into a MAGA Variety Hour
The nation’s premier cultural institution has been rebranded as a Atlantic City lounge act, and the price of admission is your dignity. The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts was designed as a living memorial to a slain president, a marble temple on the Potomac intended to elevate the American spirit through the
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Trump’s $12 Billion Apology Note to Farmers Is Signed With Your Credit Card
The arsonist has returned to the scene of the crime, not to put out the fire, but to sell the victims a very expensive glass of water. On Monday, the political circus will descend upon Washington with the heavy, frantic energy of a infomercial host realizing his product is defective. President Trump, flanked by a
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The Constitution Stops at the Water’s Edge: Why We Drone Strike Boat Captains but Pardon Kings
When the penalty for smuggling is a Hellfire missile, we have not won the War on Drugs; we have simply decided to stop taking prisoners. The American legal system is famously obsessed with procedure. We have entire libraries filled with books about the rights of the accused, the rules of evidence, and the precise geometric
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DOJ To Release Grand Jury Epstein Information, Supposedly
On December 19, the United States government will attempt a new experiment: telling the truth about how it let a monster run a catering service for predators. There is a specific kind of silence that descends upon a room when the lights are suddenly turned on at a party that has gone on far too