Latest posts
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Back-to-School Essentials (Beyond the Basics): A Discoverable Listicle for the End of the World
The back-to-school season has transformed from nostalgic simplicity into a complex reality filled with heightened anxieties and survival needs. Essential items now reflect societal issues, from bulletproof backpacks to trauma-informed water bottles. Amidst the consumer frenzy, parents grapple with emotional burdens while hoping for their children’s safety and well-being in a precarious world.
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Silence of the Stern: The $500 Million Whisper at the End of the Dial
Howard Stern’s contract with SiriusXM, ending in 2025, faces uncertainty as the company considers not renewing it amid dwindling subscriptions and shifting media landscapes. Once a revolutionary figure in radio, Stern’s expensive legacy now seems misaligned with modern content preferences, reflecting a broader decline of traditional audio platforms in an evolving industry.
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The Earth Is Already Trying to Leave My Birthday Early
Because of course it is. Sometime in the next 24 hours, Earth is projected to complete one of its fastest full rotations in recorded history—shaving off just enough time to make my birthday the second shortest day… ever. Scientists call it a freak geophysical acceleration. I call it emotionally resonant. The Earth hasn’t even done
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Alone Together™: How to Cure Loneliness with Wi-Fi, Vague Eye Contact, and Corporate Wellness Emails
If you’re feeling lonely in 2025, good news: you’re not alone. You are, in fact, part of a globally trending demographic—a vast, echoing chorus of fully-charged devices and emotionally uncharged people, all sending each other “just checking in” texts while lying motionless on separate couches. We live in the most hyper-connected society in history. You
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Earthquake, Tsunamis, Mega-Destruction—But Top 5 on X? Here’s Your Frontier News Feed Instead
So a massive earthquake just rattled half the globe, triggered tsunami alerts coast to coast, and… your X timeline is still recommending “10 low-calorie snacks to curb your midnight cravings” and that viral meme about a waiter recalling your order unironically. Congratulations, Elon Musk’s algorithm didn’t even blink. The top 5 stories on the platform?
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We All Live in a TikTok Now: How Pop Culture in 2025 Became an Algorithm Wearing Lip Gloss
Pop culture used to be a mirror. It reflected us—warped, stylized, a little hungover—but recognizable. Now it’s more like a funhouse trapdoor. You open Instagram to check your ex’s vacation photos and fall face-first into a sped-up Olivia Rodrigo remix choreographed by six 19-year-olds in matching depression hoodies. Somewhere, a Marvel spinoff trailer auto-plays. Somewhere
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Facts, Fiction, and That Guy from High School Who’s Now a Virologist, Economist, and War Historian
Once upon a time—let’s call it the before times—truth had a certain charm. It was slower, harder to reach, and required more than a Canva infographic and a TikTok voiceover to feel real. Then the internet happened, and suddenly everyone’s Aunt Donna was a part-time epidemiologist with a minor in constitutional law and a doctorate
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Business as Usual: A Two-Shooter Monday in the Land of the Free
There’s a uniquely American efficiency to how we process mass shootings. As if the country were run by a bureaucratic vending machine that now just spits out blood instead of soda. Insert thoughts. Receive prayers. Try again tomorrow. Today’s patriotic performance art featured not one but two active shooter incidents. First, the Grand Sierra Resort
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Holy Paperclips, Luxury Jets, and Surprise Deadlines: Inside the Trump Administration’s Month of Multitasking
In a dizzying flurry of executive motion and moral multitasking, President Donald J. Trump has once again reminded us that governing is not about consistency, coherence, or consequences—it’s about volume. And the 2025 Trump administration has been operating at maximum decibel. From peace ultimatums issued like fast food orders to religious paperweights, Hurricane Helene bailouts,
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Let Them Eat Optics: Gaza Starves While World Leaders Host a Photo Op
In a powerful show of concern, several world leaders have finally taken a bold, unified stand against the most dangerous enemy in the Gaza conflict: bad press. After months of airstrikes, blockades, and performative diplomacy, President Donald J. Trump emerged from his golf cart to announce that yes—“real starvation” is happening in Gaza, and yes—it