Latest posts
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The No-Fly Zone of the Id: How Trump Annexed Venezuela in 280 Characters or Less
The airspace above a sovereign nation is usually governed by a complex web of treaties, international conventions, and the boring, reliable physics of radar and air traffic control. But in the year 2025, the laws of aerodynamics and the Chicago Convention on International Civil Aviation have been superseded by a more potent force: the Caps
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The Dictator from the Dollar Store: Why Our Trump Authoritarian Nightmare Feels Like It Was Ordered on Temu
We are living through a moment where the phrase “ethnic cleansing” is being rebranded as a lifestyle choice by the Department of Homeland Security, but because this is America in 2025, the branding feels less like a terrifying historical echo and more like a drop-shipped product that arrived three weeks late in a crushed box.
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The Kingpin’s Pardon: Why the War on Drugs Only Applies to People Without a Motorcade
The American capacity for cognitive dissonance is usually impressive. It is the engine that keeps the suburbs quiet and the stock market humming. But on November 28, 2025, President Donald Trump decided to test the structural integrity of that engine by pouring sugar, sand, and a few gallons of high-grade cocaine directly into the gas
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The Remigration Proclamation: A Sermon from the Ministry of Purgation
On a day usually reserved for quiet reflection or ignoring the news cycle, Donald Trump decided to offer a benediction. He did not issue a bland statement about unity or national strength. Instead, he logged onto Truth Social and drafted what can only be described as a declaration of war against fifty-three million people, disguised
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The Emperor Has No Stamina: How the “High Energy” Presidency Became a Part-Time Job
The defining myth of Donald Trump’s political existence has always been a biological impossibility. He sold us the idea that he was a genetic marvel, a man who required no sleep, subsisted on fast food, and possessed a battery life that defied the laws of thermodynamics. He mocked his opponents as “low energy,” “sleepy,” and
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The Dictator’s Holiday Greeting Card: A Thanksgiving Message from the Ministry of Demigration
There is a specific, terrifying alchemy that happens when a political figure decides to combine the festive spirit of Thanksgiving with the rhetorical structure of a declaration of war. It is the moment when “Season’s Greetings” becomes a threat, and the turkey on the table is replaced by a policy proposal that reads like it
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Gratitude in the Blast Zone: A Love Letter to Matthew, Chemo, Chihuahuas, and the Art of Not Dying in Texas
We are told to be thankful for the big things: health, family, the roof over our heads. But this year, in the twilight of 2025, I find myself offering a quiet, fervent prayer to Beyonce and Lady Gaga of gratitude for something far more specific, something that doesn’t fit neatly on a Hallmark card. I
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The Myth of the “Good Old Days”: A Thanksgiving Toast to the Eras That Tried to Erase Us
We gather here today, in the warm glow of incandescent bulbs and familial obligation, to perform the sacred ritual of forced gratitude. The table is set. The turkey is dry. The cranberry sauce retains the ridges of the can, a gelatinous monument to industrial efficiency. And around the perimeter, a collection of relatives—some beloved, some
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The unauthorized History of the Home of the Brave: A Guide to 400 Years of squatter’s Rights
We like to tell ourselves a very specific story about the United States. It is a story printed on glossy brochures, recited by politicians with wet eyes, and taught to children before they are old enough to read the footnotes. It is the story of a “Nation of Immigrants,” a melting pot where the tired,
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The First Illegal Aliens Wore Buckle Shoes: A Thanksgiving Guide to Stolen Land and Hypocrisy
The truth is that America is a messy, violent, beautiful, hypocritical project. It is a country capable of profound generosity and staggering cruelty. We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants. We are a nation born of revolution that fears change. We are a nation of stolen land that is obsessed with property rights.