Latest posts
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Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math
The problem with promising to “crack down on crime” is that crime refuses to follow your campaign calendar. It does not politely spike in the zip codes you need for next week’s rally. It rarely consults your polling numbers before deciding whether to trend upward or downward. Yet here comes Donald Trump, fresh off his
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When Billionaires Sue: Elon Musk’s Antitrust Opera Against Apple and OpenAI
On August 25, 2025, Elon Musk decided to stop subtweeting Apple and OpenAI long enough to do what billionaires do when they’re bored: sue somebody. This time, his companies xAI and X Corp. filed a federal antitrust case in Texas, alleging that Apple and OpenAI formed a duopoly designed to suffocate competitors—namely Grok, Musk’s chatty,
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Prosecuting the Flame: Trump’s Executive Order on Flag Burning
On August 25, 2025, President Donald Trump signed a document so melodramatically titled it could double as a Netflix limited series: “Prosecuting Burning of the American Flag.” The executive order doesn’t criminalize flag burning outright—because the Supreme Court told America to chill about that back in 1989. But it does something more Trumpian: it takes
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Puff, Puff, Postal: USPS Declares War on Your Vape Pen
In mid-August 2025, while the rest of America was debating whether Barbie deserved an Oscar nomination, the United States Postal Service quietly declared war on flavored fog. That’s right: the USPS—an institution barely able to deliver your Amazon package without routing it through Albuquerque—has suddenly positioned itself as the frontline defender against the scourge of
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Britney Spears Instagram Spiral: Is She Trolling or Unraveling?
Britney Spears’ Instagram these days reads like a parallel universe where “2007 energy” got stuck in a blender with existential dread, threw in a pinch of cottage-core cooking tutorials, and hissed “I’ll show you crazy” until it submitted. One of her most recent posts featured a cheerful video monologue about homemade bread that “smells like
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“Monsieur Ambassador, Non, Non, Non!”
A Satirical Dispatch from the Franco-American Diplomatic Stage On August 24, 2025, the world witnessed an increasingly rare diplomatic full-stop: France summoned U.S. Ambassador Charles Kushner after he penned a blistering open letter to President Macron. In the Wall Street Journal, Kushner accused France of failing to adequately stem a rise in antisemitism, linking it
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The Great “SNL” Shake-Up: Bye-Bye Glow, Hello Unknown
On August 22, 2025, Lorne Michaels—the architect, wizard, and part-time cryptic oracle of Saturday Night Live—dropped a teaser bigger than any Weekend Update zinger: Season 51 is getting a “for sure” cast shake‑up. No names. No details. Just the promise that the ensemble of SNL’s golden jubilee is dissolving like cheap glitter in rinse cycle.
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Siri’s Existential Crisis: Should Apple Buy Its Brain from Google?
On August 22, 2025, Mashable (via Bloomberg) confirmed what iPhone users have suspected since the first time Siri replied “I didn’t quite get that” to a basic request: Apple still doesn’t know what Siri should be. After years of delays, vaporware “Apple Intelligence” rollouts, and corporate reshuffles, the company is reportedly in talks with Google
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Deportation Roulette: Spin the Globe, Land on Uganda
America has always had a gift for rebranding cruelty as administrative efficiency. On August 23, 2025, CNN reported the latest episode in our long-running tragicomedy of immigration enforcement: Kilmar Ábrego García—a Salvadoran man who’s lived in Maryland since 2011, married an American citizen, raised children here, and already survived one wrongful deportation—may now be deported
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Rodeo, Run-ins & Rehab: Lil Nas X’s 6 a.m. “Midnight Remix” in Studio City
Picture it: early morning on Ventura Boulevard, Studio City. The sky is still a bruise. Streetlights flicker like judging eyebrows. A nude man strides down the sidewalk, shoulders thrown back like he just emerged from a Private Jet and Seminoles matchup—and charges at police when they arrive. He’s escorted off in cuffs, hospitalized for suspected