In a bold move sure to divide brunch tables and incite polite outrage in Maine tourism boards, Jamie Lee Curtis has confirmed she will step into the orthopedic shoes of Jessica Fletcher in a remake of Murder, She Wrote. Yes, the reboot no one asked for but everyone will ironically stream is officially happening.
Curtis—America’s reigning queen of scream, probiotic yogurt, and accidentally iconic red carpet claps—has apparently decided that now is the time to pivot from surviving Michael Myers to outwitting men with suspicious mustaches in cozy seaside inns.
Angela Lansbury, beloved ghost of all things dignified, is no doubt peering down from heaven with the energy of, “Well, let’s see how she handles Cabot Cove’s murder rate without a typewriter and a moral center.”
The Premise: Genocide, But Quaint
For those unfamiliar, the original Murder, She Wrote centered on Jessica Fletcher, a widowed English teacher turned crime novelist who solved approximately 700 murders while baking muffins and gently judging local law enforcement. She lived in Cabot Cove, Maine—a town with a population of 3,000 and a homicide rate that rivaled mid-’90s Detroit.
Naturally, the reboot will modernize this. Word on the street is the new Jessica Fletcher will use ChatGPT to draft chapters and a Ring camera to catch killers. Her cozy cottage has been replaced with a mid-century Airbnb furnished exclusively in trauma and neutral tones.
Gone are the pie socials. Enter the wellness retreats with suspicious turmeric fatalities.
Jamie Lee’s Angle: Murder, But Make It Trauma-Informed
Curtis promises her take will be “a love letter to Angela, a fresh twist for a new generation, and a gentle dissection of small-town darkness.” Translation: someone on TikTok called Murder, She Wrote a proto-true-crime podcast, and a development executive choked on his third espresso martini and yelled, “We have to reboot it before Netflix does!”
Expect the rebooted Jessica to have:
- A complicated relationship with her publisher
- A niece with a podcast about murders she’s currently solving
- A signature cocktail
- A possibly sapphic backstory that no one addresses directly but everyone tweets about
Internet Reaction: Confused, Horny, Intrigued
Naturally, reactions to the news have ranged from “How dare they?” to “Jamie Lee Curtis can murder me any day,” which tells you all you need to know about Twitter’s current intellectual baseline.
A few die-hard Lansbury loyalists have threatened to protest, presumably with tasteful signs that say things like “Fletcher Forever” and “Jessica Would Never Use a Tablet.”
Others are already designing Halloween costumes that involve a trench coat, a perm, and the cold, judging stare of a woman who solved your murder before your body was cold.
What’s Next: The Murder Cinematic Universe?
It’s only a matter of time before Murder, She Wrote joins the MCU—Murder Cinematic Universe. Jessica Fletcher could cameo in Knives Out 3, solve a cold case in the Bridgerton universe, or go toe-to-toe with Olivia Benson in a special crossover called Law & Order: Maimed in Maine.
There are even rumors of a “Young Jessica” spin-off, featuring Sadie Sink typing angrily in a candlelit dorm room while tracking a missing Latin professor who maybe wasn’t so innocent after all.
Final Word: Long Live the Queen (of Clue)
Is rebooting Murder, She Wrote sacrilege? Probably.
Will I still watch every single episode with a glass of wine and aggressive nostalgia? Also yes.
Because at the end of the day, Jessica Fletcher wasn’t just a sleuth. She was a quietly powerful, no-nonsense woman who walked into rooms full of powerful men and asked, without flinching, “Are you sure you want to lie to me?”
And if Jamie Lee Curtis can channel even half that energy—minus the shoulder pads, plus a murderboard app—we may just have a mystery worth solving.