Well folks, grab your custom popcorn tins and dust off your think-pieces—because the 2025 Emmy nominations have dropped, and they read like the fever dream of a prestige-hungry AI bot that just binged HBO while microdosing.
Let’s break down the chaos, shall we?
Severance Got 27 Nominations—Which Feels Like A Cry For Help
Yes, Apple TV+’s workplace dystopia Severance is leading the charge with 27 nominations. That’s right—twenty-seven. As in, one for every existential breakdown you’ve had since 2020. We get it. The show is brilliant, bleak, and full of fluorescent lighting that screams “trauma in 4K.” Honestly, at this point, if your series doesn’t include sterile corridors and a mystery box plot, the Emmys won’t even look at you.
The Penguin Slides Into 24 Nods Because Gotham Never Sleeps (Or Smiles)
Let’s talk The Penguin. Yes, that Penguin. Colin Farrell, unrecognizable and somehow more Italian than pasta itself, scooped up 24 nominations while growling his way through a noir Gotham spin-off. It’s gritty. It’s slow-burny. It’s prestige cosplay. Somewhere, Batman is confused and Alfred is polishing awards for villains now.
The Studio Proves We’ll Nominate Anything If Seth Rogen Laughs in It
23 nominations went to The Studio, a series that appears to be a behind-the-scenes look at how many celebrity cameos one show can pack before it implodes. Spoiler: it’s a lot. Seth Rogen laughs. Then cries. Then laughs again. The Emmys eat it up like it’s organic goat cheese on a Trader Joe’s cracker.
Matlock Is Back (?!), and Kathy Bates Said “Ageism, I Don’t Know Her”
Kathy Bates landed a nomination for playing Matlock, the rebooted lawyer now with more cardigans and less patience. She’s 77 and still acting circles around men half her age and three times as confused. Somewhere, a Hollywood executive is greenlighting “Golden Girls: The Gritty Origin Story.”
Other Nominated Dramas Include:
The White Lotus (finally leaves Italy and still manages to feel European and sweaty) The Last of Us (featuring fungi and feelings) The Diplomat (which we all watched thinking it was Scandal with a passport) Andor (Star Wars for theater kids) Slow Horses (Gary Oldman as your chain-smoking British uncle who yells at MI5) Paradise and The Pitt (possibly shows, possibly lifestyle newsletters—we’re not sure)
Comedy’s Still Hanging On—Barely
Comedy nominees this year include The Bear, Hacks, Abbott Elementary, Only Murders in the Building, Shrinking, and What We Do in the Shadows. Or as I like to call them: trauma, snark, education, podcast murder, grief, and vampires. Just like vaudeville used to be!
Harrison Ford Just Got His First Emmy Nomination—Yes, Really
For Shrinking. Which means Han Solo finally landed something more prestigious than “grumpy pilot.” He’s 83, emotionally repressed, and in therapy. Just like the rest of us, only richer and more leathery.
Reality & Talk: Still Alive, Somehow
RuPaul’s Drag Race, The Amazing Race, Survivor, Top Chef, The Traitors—aka, the Fab Five of recycled trophies. Meanwhile, the late-night crew (Colbert, Kimmel, The Daily Show) is still shouting jokes into a void filled with sponsored segments and political dread.
Snubbed: Dragons, Koreans, and Literally Anything Too Popular
House of the Dragon? Missing.
Squid Game: The Challenge? Gone.
Anything that cost more than a mid-tier indie film to make? Brutally snubbed.
Apparently, if your show has both CGI and a fanbase, the Emmys now assume it’s beneath them. Sorry, nerds. Try again with more trauma and fewer swords.
Final Thoughts From The Fields
In conclusion, the Emmys remain our most chaotic game of “Who Did The Industry Pretend To Watch This Year?”
It’s a magical time when trauma dramas, meta comedies, rebooted grandmas, and sad middle-aged white men in therapy battle for golden validation.
TV isn’t dead. It’s just… emotionally complex and overly styled in soft blues.
See you at the ceremony. I’ll be live-tweeting it from my couch with boxed wine and an award-ready monologue prepared just in case.