Ah, the Supreme Court—America’s Magic 8 Ball in a powdered wig. One minute it’s declaring that President Biden can’t forgive a dime of student debt without Congress’s explicit permission, the next it’s sipping sweet tea and watching Trump light the entire Department of Education on fire like it’s a 4th of July sparkler.
Because apparently, canceling loans is too much power for one man, but canceling the federal agency responsible for teaching children to read? Totally chill.
Let’s take a look at the logic here:
Biden: “Hey, millions of Americans are drowning in student loan debt. I’d like to forgive some of it.” Supreme Court: “Whoa there, Daddy Government. That sounds like a decision for Congress. Or maybe Jesus. You’re not allowed to help people without permission.” Trump: “I want to dismantle the Department of Education. Just blow the whole thing up.” Supreme Court: “Sure, babe. Sounds fun. Want a match?”
Apparently, education is too woke now. Things like critical thinking, science, and learning about other people’s existence have become code for “leftist propaganda.” And if there’s one thing authoritarian nostalgia hates, it’s a population that knows how to spell “authoritarian nostalgia.”
So while Biden’s attempt to cancel student loans was struck down for being an egregious overreach of executive power, Trump’s plan to bulldoze an entire Cabinet-level department is being treated like a Saturday afternoon DIY project.
What’s next?
Biden tries to install universal pre-K: Unconstitutional. Trump tries to replace school libraries with vending machines full of Bibles: Innovative education strategy.
It’s almost like the rules don’t apply evenly. Almost.
The irony, of course, is that many of the people cheering this decision benefitted from federal student aid, public education, and taxpayer-funded school lunches. But now that they’ve climbed the ladder, they’re sawing it in half and throwing the splinters at anyone still learning to read.
So here we are.
A president couldn’t cancel interest on a $20,000 loan.
But another one might cancel the entire institution that made it possible to understand what a loan even is.
In conclusion: If you’re keeping score at home, kindness is unconstitutional. Petty vengeance, however, is just good governance.
God bless America. But only after a standardized test.