Well, buckle up Earthlings—because America’s favorite space agency is about to blast off in an entirely different direction. No, not toward Mars. Not toward the Moon. Not even toward basic logic.
This week, over 2,000 senior NASA employees have been handed pink slips as part of President Trump’s bold new initiative to “trim the federal fat.” The goal? Make government leaner, meaner, and apparently dumber. The move comes on the heels of the 2026 federal budget proposal, which suggests the only thing more expendable than facts is a literal rocket scientist.
Enter Sean Duffy, former congressman, reality TV alumnus, and current Secretary of Transportation, who has now been named Interim NASA Administrator.
Because nothing says “qualified to lead America’s premier space exploration agency” like… a guy who once argued against climate change using a snowball.
The New NASA Mission: Budget First, Science Later
Under this new leadership, we can expect some visionary shifts in NASA’s priorities:
- The Artemis Moon Mission will now be rebranded as “Space Camp: Heritage Edition” and will feature obstacle courses, MAGA flag planting, and commemorative gold Trump coins.
- All current scientific research must fit on a bumper sticker and rhyme.
- Mars will officially be renamed “New Florida.”
And don’t worry about morale—who needs rocket engineers and astrophysicists when you can launch your hopes and dreams into orbit with nothing but vibes and Sean’s real estate experience?
“We Don’t Need Experts—We Have Passion”
During a press briefing in front of a very confused model of the solar system, Duffy clarified:
“Listen, I may not know how space works, but I know how Americans work. We’re gonna bring jobs back from Uranus and make the moon great again.”
An intern wept quietly behind him.
From NASA to NASAwho?
Scientists have responded with a mix of horror, resignation, and frantic updating of their LinkedIn profiles. One planetary geologist reportedly asked, “Can I even put this on a resume, or does this count as performance art now?”
Meanwhile, Elon Musk has offered to buy what’s left of NASA and rename it “SpaceX But Make It Sad.” Jeff Bezos also chimed in, reminding us that Blue Origin still exists. We wish him the best.
Final Thoughts: To Boldly Lay Off Where No One Has Laid Off Before
In the end, this isn’t just a budget cut. It’s a cosmic downsizing. A launch into the unknown—except this time, the unknown is being managed by someone whose closest encounter with space exploration was watching Armageddon on basic cable.
So farewell, NASA as we knew it.
You gave us moon landings, Hubble photos, and the hope of something bigger.
Now? You give us Sean Duffy in a flight suit.
Godspeed.