In today’s edition of Billionaire Has Feelings, Elon Musk has reportedly turned on Donald Trump, citing concerns that the ex-president is “going to bankrupt the country.” This comes as a genuine shock to Musk, who only recently realized that Trump may not, in fact, be the gold standard of economic discipline.
Yes, the man who helped re-elect Trump, gave his PAC more money than most Americans will see in a lifetime, and hosted him on stage like a B-list Ted Talk speaker… has now decided: “Wait a minute, this guy might be full of it.”
Elon’s Moment of Fiscal Clarity
Sources close to Musk say he was reviewing the latest federal budget—likely while on a treadmill in zero gravity—when he noticed a glaring contradiction:
Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” ballooned the deficit by $500 billion, slashed social safety nets, and still handed out tax breaks like candy at a Mar-a-Lago piñata party.
“Elon thought Trump was going to drain the swamp,” said one anonymous AI bot. “Instead, he watched him install gold faucets and raise the national debt ceiling like it was a Cybertruck roof.”
What Elon Thought He Was Getting:
- Lean government
- Responsible spending
- A libertarian fever dream with flags
What He Actually Got:
- A man who thinks bankruptcy is a form of economic strategy (to be fair, it is—for Trump)
- Record spending increases
- A deficit so bloated it asked to borrow Elon’s rocket to escape Earth’s gravity
Now Elon Is Mad
And when Elon’s mad, he does what any reasonable tech overlord does:
- Launches a political party
- Conducts a poll on X
- Sends a meme of Trump eating a McBudget sandwich
- Says things like “uniparty” and “free thinkers” while nervously watching Tesla stock
He’s also started warning people that Trump “lied” about wanting to reduce government spending. This is like being shocked to learn the Kool-Aid Man doesn’t have health insurance.
Final Thoughts
Elon Musk realizing Trump isn’t fiscally responsible is the richest man in the world discovering the ice cream machine at McDonald’s doesn’t work.
Where was this energy when Trump was giving trillion-dollar tax cuts to yacht owners and proposing space lasers to stop hurricanes?
But it’s okay, Elon. We all have our first heartbreak.
Yours just came with Secret Service escorts and an exploding budget.
Next week: Elon realizes Ronald Reagan also ran deficits, and we collectively faint from the shock.