There are few political moments more satisfying than watching a man who owns more hair product than self-awareness weaponize his own image against the only person in America who has made an entire career out of weaponizing his.
Enter California Governor Gavin Newsom, the political equivalent of an Instagram thirst trap with a law degree, who decided that the best way to respond to Donald Trump’s latest mid-decade redistricting stunt was to beat him at his own game: loud, all-caps social media trolling that doubles as a campaign ad.
This wasn’t just political theater—it was political theater performed in a mirror maze.
The Setup: Texas, Maps, and the Quest for Five More Seats
In Texas, Trump-backed Republicans are attempting to redraw congressional districts mid-decade—an audacious move that could give them up to five more House seats and, conveniently, keep Trump’s allies in legislative clover until the end of time or the next oil bust.
Trump himself helpfully explained the motivation: Republicans “are entitled to five more seats” because he won Texas in 2024. As if congressional representation is now some kind of loyalty reward program where frequent flyer miles are measured in gerrymandered precincts.
The Counterpunch: TACO Tuesday, but Make It Legislative
Newsom’s response? A satirical all-caps broadside that introduced the world to “DONALD ‘TACO’ TRUMP.”
Now, “TACO” here is not about cuisine—it’s a freshly minted acronym for “Trump Always Chickens Out,” a reference to the former president’s habit of shifting deadlines the way most people shift the blame. In this case, Newsom was referring to Trump supposedly “missing” the redistricting deadline, and his threat was clear: If Texas plays this game, California will, too—only prettier, bigger, and with the kind of flair you expect from a governor who probably has a lighting designer for his press conferences.
The post was so committed to the Trumpian aesthetic that it read like a Truth Social fever dream—except with punctuation that didn’t look like it was applied by a raccoon running across a keyboard.
The Threat That Was Also a Flex
Newsom didn’t just troll. He attached a policy sledgehammer to the punchline: California will redraw its own congressional map in a way that could erase those hypothetical Texas gains. He even teased a “BIG PRESS CONFERENCE THIS WEEK WITH POWERFUL DEMS AND GAVIN NEWSOM — YOUR FAVORITE GOVERNOR” that would be “DEVASTATING FOR ‘MAGA.’”
It’s not often that a redistricting threat is marketed like a summer blockbuster, but this is Gavin Newsom we’re talking about. The man could probably announce a public utilities bond measure with a teaser trailer and a soundtrack by The Weeknd.
The Governors’ Arms Race
Newsom’s not alone in this game of mutually assured gerrymandering. Governors Kathy Hochul of New York and J.B. Pritzker of Illinois have already rattled their own redistricting sabers, creating the political equivalent of three cats circling the same laser pointer.
It’s no longer a question of whether this tit-for-tat will escalate—it’s how quickly it can be live-streamed. The real suspense is whether they’ll keep the drama going until the maps themselves start trending on TikTok.
Trump’s Playbook, Annotated by Newsom
What makes this so delicious is that Newsom isn’t mocking Trump in absentia—he’s essentially co-opting the Trump voice, stripping it of its usual grievance, and replacing it with Democratic spite. The cadence is there. The gratuitous self-congratulation is there. Even the faux-gracious “THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!” is there.
It’s parody so perfect it could almost be mistaken for sincerity—which, in the Trump era, is the most dangerous form of comedy.
The Irony of Local Control
Of course, both men are talking about democracy while treating congressional maps like property lines in a homeowners association feud. The difference is that Trump frames his moves as divine entitlement, while Newsom frames his as righteous retaliation—like the difference between stealing your neighbor’s lawn gnome out of greed versus stealing it because they stole yours first.
And in the end, it’s the same yard, now missing all its lawn ornaments.
Why It Works (For Now)
Politically, Newsom’s trolling works for three reasons:
- It’s asymmetrical warfare. Trump expects pearl-clutching, not imitation.
- It’s meme-ready. “TACO” is sticky, repeatable, and conveniently printable on merch.
- It’s a preview of 2028. This isn’t just about redistricting; it’s an audition tape.
The risk, of course, is that Democrats now have to deliver on the “more beautiful maps” promise. And given the public’s deep, abiding affection for the way congressional districts currently look (which is to say, not at all), that’s a dangerous promise to make.
The Bee’s Closing Sting
Gavin Newsom didn’t just out-Trump Trump—he built a trap out of Trump’s own ego, baited it with a meme, and then invited the press to watch the door swing shut.
The danger is that once you start playing Trump’s game, you’re bound by his rules, and those rules are simple: Always make it bigger, louder, and more absurd than the last time. Which means if this really is the opening volley in a gerrymandering arms race, the next few years might make the Hunger Games look like a neighborhood potluck.