Let’s set the scene: Gillette Stadium. The lights are low. The band is Coldplay—because of course it is. “A Sky Full of Stars” crescendos like the emotional climax of a mid-2000s rom-com. And right as the chorus hits, the jumbotron zooms in on two people who look like they’ve just discovered physical touch. Only it’s not Jennifer Lawrence and a soft-focus stranger. No. It’s Andy Byron, the married CEO of Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, his colleague. As in, work colleague. As in, HR-please-don’t-ask-how-we-met colleague.
And just like that, TikTok got a new main character.
It started with a fan video: a casual pan to the big screen where Andy and Kristin were caught in what can only be described as the prelude to an HR training video. The moment lasted seconds, but the aftermath? That’s eternal. Byron’s wife promptly updated her socials and ghosted his last name like it owed her child support. Kristin’s LinkedIn was suddenly less “passionate go-to-market strategist” and more “unavailable.”
By Monday, Astronomer had placed both employees on leave, citing an investigation. Which, let’s be honest, is corporate for “we’re watching this unfold on Twitter like the rest of you, but someone’s going to get a write-up.” One can only assume Slack messages are being subpoenaed, Outlook calendars combed like FBI wiretaps. We’re halfway to a limited docuseries called Star-Crossed: The Orbit of Office Lust.
Now, before we go full pitchfork, let’s pause.
Was this anyone’s business? Technically no. Is it capitalism’s fault? Somehow, yes. Because in late-stage corporate America, you don’t just sell software—you sell stability, family values, thought leadership. You’re not allowed to have a messy affair anymore unless it’s part of a rebrand or executive coaching initiative. And nothing says “bad optics” like your CEO dry-humping brand integrity on the jumbotron during “Fix You.”
Of course, Coldplay wasn’t available for comment. But let’s assume Chris Martin would whisper something vaguely celestial like, “Sometimes stars collide. Sometimes they explode.”
And look, maybe this isn’t about infidelity at all. Maybe it’s about surveillance. About how in 2025, no one is safe from the algorithm—or the kiss cam. Not even mid-tier B2B executives from SaaS companies no one knew existed until last Tuesday.
Or maybe it’s just about two people who got caught believing they were the only stars in the galaxy.
Whatever the case, Astronomer will likely release a statement soon about “reaffirming workplace standards” and “upholding company culture.” Which is code for: “We’re not mad they kissed. We’re mad you saw it.”
Let that be a lesson to all executives navigating workplace romance: the jumbotron does not care about your NDAs, your marital status, or your Q3 roadmap. It only cares that your face was lit up in 4K and the internet was watching.
Live by the stars, fall by the cam.