In what some are calling a seismic shift and others are calling “Tuesday,” a federal judge in Los Angeles has slammed the brakes on the Trump administration’s attempt to throw an immigration-themed block party — complete with surprise arrests and zero constitutional oversight.
The temporary restraining order halts immigration enforcement operations across Southern California, which is unfortunate for the administration’s Operation Round-Up and Ship-Out™ plan, a program that critics say was crafted using a Sharpie, a fear-mongering Pinterest board, and a heavy dose of Fox News-induced fever dreams.
The ruling came down with the casual force of a judicial eye-roll, with the judge citing “blatantly unconstitutional practices such as racial profiling, warrantless detainment, and just generally acting like ICE had watched one too many dystopian thrillers and took notes.”
While the Department of Homeland Security insists this was “all a misunderstanding,” local officials aren’t buying it. Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass — apparently unaware that she was supposed to just smile politely while ICE turned her city into an off-brand Gilead — responded by signing an executive directive aimed at actually protecting immigrant communities. The horror.
This directive includes provisions for legal aid, housing support, and—trigger warning for xenophobes—financial assistance for those affected by the raids. “Because if we’re going to call ourselves a sanctuary city,” Bass said in a press conference, “we should probably act like it.”
Fox News immediately labeled this “treason,” while Newsmax simply called it “witchcraft.” A representative from the Trump team declared, “This is just another example of woke judges and radical mayors putting immigrants before Americans.” Which, in Trumpspeak, means “This is a lawful response to our failure to understand how the Constitution works.”
Meanwhile, Southern Californians seem to be breathing a little easier, as ICE agents were seen sadly wheeling away boxes labeled “Confiscated Dreams” and “Unnecessary Fear” from a downtown command center.
Sources close to the administration say Trump was “irked” by the decision, mostly because he was “pretty sure he won California last time,” and had already scheduled a “Victory Lap and Deportation Jubilee” for next Thursday.
But the most shocking part of this whole debacle? A judge read the Fourth Amendment. Out loud. In court. In 2025.
America: where the Constitution is back, and mayors are once again choosing compassion over cosplay authoritarianism.
Stay tuned for Trump’s rebuttal tweet, which is expected to include at least three misspellings, one veiled threat to the judiciary, and a claim that Los Angeles is “falling into the sea anyway.”
God bless judicial oversight — and pass the restraining orders.